As the sun rises over Las Vegas and Patrick ascends his podcasting throne, an unsettling mood descends on the land. On an R-Tard Thursday like this, we should be focusing on those around us that make us laugh with their ineptitude and frustrate us with their stubborn and unchanging ways. But here we are. Here we go. We’re doing it. We are fucking doing it. …
What a day, what a way! Let’s have a drink and discuss opportunities for growth and improvement. We all need to take a deep breath and figure out what’s real, what’s spin, who’s out and who’s in. Is Rob Saul full of complete poo? Is Chris Ables obfuscating the truth to protect his ego? How much of what’s going on is being cosigned by Shuli, his producers, or others on the network? With all the rumors and misinformation swirling, we could all benefit from laying it all out in the open and just seeing what’s what! …
There’s some static in the air, and Patrick wants to be the dryer sheet that relieves you of all that tension. Comedian and dog-semen-extractor Rob Saul has gone public with some gossip, appearing on Misery Loves Company with Kevin Brennan on Monday afternoon. According to Rob, the Shuli Network, Bob Levi, and Chris Ables are all purchasing views for their videos, and claims to have receipts. Who is lying and why? Who is Steven Springer? What is “marketing?” Kevin Brennan is still being retarded, and it has to be a work. Aaron Imholte let his seat be filled by Keanu on Monday night. What lows will Aaron and April stoop to next on the Steel Toe Desperation Show? This show gets derailed by the accusations against the Shuli network, and intensifies when Shuli begins lying about Patrick live on The BS Show for some reason. …
What a weekend, and what a life! Congratulations to Geno and his lady for getting engaged, although this means Geno is no longer single, and therefore not available for Aaron and April to have a threesome with. Patrick has been beaming all weekend after Butch Bradley’s embarrassing Friday performance on Kevin Brennan’s podcast. Will Misery Loves Company be the final podcast where Butch talks about this, or will he run his mouth again. Does Patrick have a prayer at a defamation case, or is Kevin Brennan right when he says “you can’t just sue people.” We shall find out. Steel Toe has some new cringe to examine. Chad Zumock cannot stop lying, unless he’s reading. When he’s reading he stops his breathing. Let’s have ourselves a merry little Monday, shall we? …
Comedian Butch Bradley went on the Misery Loves Company podcast with Kevin Brennan recently to tell his version of what happened in the past with Patrick. In the process, he publicly slandered Patrick several times with statements that he knows are false. Butch accuses Patrick of stalking, death threats, harassment of himself and his family, and much more. Who is more of a danger to Butch’s loved ones? Patrick, who doesn’t communicate with Butch at all and hasn’t in five years, or Butch himself? Did Butch pull a gun on his girlfriend in 2021? Did she call 911? Wouldn’t it be a shame if someone got ahold of the emergency call and police report? What would happen to the career of Las Vegas’ funniest comedian as well as the reputation of The Strat casino and the LA Comedy Club if the evidence of prostitutes, drugs and domestic violence come to light? Look out, Butch! Winter is coming! …
Happy Friday, mortals! Come with us this blessed day and rejoice in the fact that your life is not hurling down a hallway of despair with limited options on the horizon. Chad Zumock can’t see the end of his career coming, but if he would just clean those fogged up Walmart specs he might have hope! Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips has an answer for Patrick regarding his proposition, and it’s the kind of self-sabotage that’s sure to seal his fate. All this plus your Chad Zumock podcast studio renderings in our latest fan art assignment! Strap in, ya saps! …
We are blessed this morning with a tree that has so much fruit on it, it’s hard to tell which delicious, succulent piece to grab first. Chad Zumock is melting down. The reports are coming in far and wide about Zumock’s latest attempt to control the narrative. Google has some amazing Chad Zumock morsels for the picking over. Ray Devito was analyzed on MLC yesterday, and Kevin Brennan was loving it. But did the psychiatrist help Ray? Does Ray even understand what’s happening around him? Only time will tell. Let’s see where the day takes us, shall we? …
Chad Zumock is a mudshark with no place to go! Watch as the Z-Man panics and attacks one of his most ardent admirers and lashes out to control the narrative! Chad Zumock is desperate to not let people know he flies to Texas to sell 117 tickets, doesn’t move any merch, and shakes on stage while he tries to remember his old jokes. Listen to the harrowing tale of Chad Zumock, a failed comedian who doesn’t know he’s a failure, try to spin and change facts in real time. Chad is continually contradicting himself and going off on tangents about things that have nothing to do with anything. The working theory is that poor Chadley lacks the mental capacity to form any kind of coherent argument or stance , and therefore ends every tirade sitting in silence, pursing his lips over and over, while wallowing in his disturbingly dark reality. Enjoy the overtime as Patrick forgoes other topics to discuss this sad, broken dummy. …
It’s been awhile since we checked in on everyone’s favorite Minnesota morning morons, Aaron Imholte and his slave wife April. With declining numbers, and the goal getting further and further out of reach every day, Let’s catch up on some of Mooby’s latest lies and find some career options for that dolt of a wife of his before it’s too late! Patrick opens the PO box packages that were meant to be opened on Friday. There may need to be a hazmat team on hand for this unboxing. We discuss Ray’s trip to Detroit and break down the disastrous MLC that unfolded on Saturday night with Pat Dixon. Plus plenty of yelling about other things, probably! Come join the fun! …
Patrick attempts a cold open for the ages, with a lot of remorse, emotion, passion and anger. What will you think of this super-original art piece? We check in on our favorite walrus Corey, who seems to be trying something new with YouTube yet again. Like his counterpart Josh Denny, he can’t seem to stick to anything and therefore never gains any traction on social media. Now he’s driving and eating on camera while offering almost no wit or entertainment. We also get a phone call from Sketti Tooth reporting about her recent experience at Chad Zumock’s comedy shows in Dallas. It’s everything you could ever want to hear in a Chad report! …
We have so many loose ends to tie up, but Patrick has forgotten all his nautical knots! Will this thing ever be seaworthy or will we all end up entangled in waste? Join Patrick, his imaginary friend Ferdinand, and a cast of ghosts as we sing the hits on a special Member’s Only Friday night fun-along! …
Another week, and there’s just not enough hours in the day to comb through the mental illness on the internet! But we are here for it if you are, so let’s just make the most of it! Patrick has a headache that has been plaguing him all night and doesn’t want to be here. Flatcat Jessica in the chat has some helpful advice that triggers a classing Melton Meltdown! Can we please do anything right? The gifted memberships and chat generosity lure Patrick in to sticking around. Why are so many super stickers birds? Ray DeVito loses his cool on Carlos Danger right before his big trip to Detroit. Can Ray get out of his own way? Will anyone stand up and start telling Ray the truth? Will Ray stop self-sabotaging and making excuses? Let’s all pray about it while Patrick lulls you into a calm by talking about his latest brisket. …
When will this week be over! Jkjkjk we are having a good time over here. Patrick can prove it by ranting about a bunch of stupid things right off the top! Ray DeVito is having some kind of breakdown. Have you caught the new show sweeping the Shuli Network! Patrick has got a drinking game that you can play at home. Climb aboard a magical moon ship to the far away land of Derek Savage, and dare to learn the seductive art of gun safety from a man who looks like he has several types of whiskey radiating from his mouth and/or body at all times. But at least there’s ALMOST no Cool Cat in this project. …
Happy FRIDAY! Join Patrick in putting a tight bow on this weeks mayhem. We have an art contest today, and it’s sure to make KC Armstrong squirm in his pantaloons! We want to see your best homo-erotic interpretation of KC Armstrong from the Howard Stern show – whether he’s dolled up with nowhere to go, or lounging around with the “boys,” we want to see it. Michael Ray Bower has been putting out no content and wants the haters to know he is killing it. What is this delusion that once “kind-of-celebs” have that makes them thing they have the clout and skills to be big stars today? …
It’s September 11th, and we should never forget what those one guys did to us that one time in New York. You think traffic is bad on a normal Tuesday? PLEASE! Let’s have a moment of silence for Ray’s self-awareness, since we’re morning things that have long since passed. We watch some of Ray Devito’s Rock Bottom best from the weekend, and it just keeps getting weirder. Speaking of weird, Thai Rivera has posted two videos about his recent loss – the beloved Bijou was snatched up by a coyote. Nothing says mourning like making two monetized heavily edited videos while your dog is still stuck in a coyotes teeth. More clipper and discord drama has reared its ugly head, so we might as well get some yelling out of it! Bring a cord, because your battery is gonna DIE, son! …
It’s been a week of wild twists and turns, and the rumors are more interesting than the truth. Patrick helps the haters focus on the real issues. Michael Ray Bower has still not answered Patrick’s offer to come on the show, nor mentioned the care package Patrick sent with The Willies VHS and several items of NLO merch. Will he ever acknowledge it? Did he even receive it? Bower has lots of excuses for why he was not cast in some epic films, and one of them is that he’s too thin! Patrick thinks producer Joe copied something weird from NLO to troll him, but Patrick is just dumb! Chad Zumock shows that even a room full of producers can’t help him be funny on Alex Stein’s sad and confusing Blaze.tv show. …
Join Patrick and Tim Chizmar in the chat as we watch and do a real-time review of Hell’s Coming For You, the hit independent feature film from fail-comic Dillion Dilligaf. A man in a wheelchair with a calm tone is a secret badass who goes on a killing spree against a bunch of contemporaries when he learns they’re trying to take him out. Come laugh with Patrick and friends at this absurd movie. Take your edibles now. You’re going to need them! …
Rumors are swirling that Drunk on Cringe is a GONER! All of his social media, his YouTube channel and his website have vanished. There’s even an announcement of his DEMISE from his poor, fat German mama! Patrick issues his statement and addresses the allegations. Kevin Brennan has gone missing, YouTube issues an apology to Shuli, and Joey C is biting off more legal problems than his trailer trash family can afford. Ray DeVito is going live, and we’re gonna be sniping him just because! It’s wacky timeslot week here at NLO, so deal with it and roll with the changes. You can’t dodge an onion, ya big spalootch! It’s a Thursday and we are most certainly doing it. …
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