Page 31 • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Aftershow 1457: Spy Balloons

February 16, 2023

Patrick does an aftershow and gets sucked in to the political stratosphere, so to speak. Maybe nobody here is a scientist, but Patrick doesn't believe in the theory that this ballon was a Chinese spy balloon, and the chat makes fun of him for being a bit behind in the news. Why are shooting down balloons anyway? Speaking of balloons, Micheal Ray Bower has some new videos and is still pushing his channel and march as hard as he can. We also try to make it through seven minutes of David Hollywood Hulett interviewing Summer Sinclair on his Paprika Show podcast, live as usual from his kitchen with several wackos stumbling around and drinking beers! Don't miss!

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NLO 1457: Females Ain’t Funny

February 16, 2023

Patrick is back with a satirical show that’s sure to sooth your succulents. If you aren’t a cactus person, you’ll probably still enjoy it. Patrick has ideas for how to really make Valentine’s Day pop by changing things up the day before. He’s had about enough of women thinking they’re equal or funny and he’s going to recalibrate their tiny brains in this episode. Patrick makes an earnest plea for support of the program after crapping all over half the audience. We get a live report from a show where apparently some comedy thievery is afoot. The truth about Jozalyn Sharp finally comes out, just days before her album. Comedians from far corners of nowhere are taking out insane ads on Facebook. …

Aftershow 1456: Patrick’s Cringe Content

February 13, 2023

OVERDOSE Members only - have we got a treat for you! Never before seen videos from October 2015 of Patrick headlining Butch Bradley's Comedy Hideaway in Atlantic City, NJ. Watch Patrick host an open mic with a lot of bumbling new material. We have a very special appearance from William Strange! Watch Patrick's odd behavior melt away as we then see Butch Bradley act like a complete maniac on stage in before bringing Patrick up, yelling at audience members, rearranging chairs, and even taking a woman's phone! You won't believe how Butch ran his club - we have the lost tapes! Patrick shows a bunch of his own cringe comedy to the chat audience and wants to hide under the table.

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NLO 1456: Killing The Beef

February 13, 2023

The producers of Laugh After Dark along with host Charlie Wilson have graciously offered to assist Patrick in making Butch Bradley look like a complete out-of-it dope for all the internet to see! The Laugh After Dark producers are starting a podcast segment called Kill The Beef, where they are inviting comedians with issues in the community to come in and work them out. Patrick jumped at this chance to call Butch Bradley out on the mat to crush this situation. Edwin San Juan pops in the chat to explain his lack of trust of Butch, and also reiterated that if Patrick was making false claims about him, he would definitely come to the table to work it out. …

BONUS: Lawsuits, Rappers & Roommates

February 8, 2023

It's a Vanilla Ice type of evening, and Patrick is in the mood to kick holes in the ground, because his style's like a chemical spill. Enough of that nonsense. Patrick is here to update everyone and explain that Dillion Dilligaf aka Jack Spear is rumored to be mounting a legal battle against Patrick (and boy are his wheels tired.) We check out comedian rapper Polly Wolly and Patrick demonstrates how easy rap comedy is without even trying. We try to count how many roommates Adam Dominguez has. Patrick thinks about what it would be like to have his own sandwich at McDonald's called the McNeckbeard. Skippy Sprinkles loses his show at The Hard Hat Lounge thanks to Agent O.

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NLO 1455: DILLIGAF

February 8, 2023

Patrick may have misdirected some of his ire. Tonight we examine the world of Jack Spear, aka Dillion Dilligaf, aka Tim Chizmar’s hero. Dilligaf is the creator and one of the major causes of failure of The Blue Zone Comedy Tour, amongst other awful projects. He’s also starring in a movie about a violent and murderous disable military vet with severe problems negotiating the world. Dilligaf and Chizmar are advertising their Blue Zone Comedy show as the kickoff to a tour with the BEST comedians in the WORLD, and so much more. None of it is true, and these two dorks are super upset that Patrick spoke up. You won’t believe how deep the rabbit hole goes! …

NLO 1454: Kitty Can’t Cope

February 6, 2023

Despite Patrick ignoring Kitty’s repeated DMs, and not even mentioning her in almost two weeks, he can’t help himself by posting continual content desperately trying to convince everyone that he’s ok and not bothered at all by the recent revelations of his truth. Sound familiar? Wait until you see what Kitty David Kawika reveals in this show! It’s abuse on a whole new level! The depresh is real and you need to knock it off. Patrick smoked a turkey like a king. Thai Rivera is posting some insane new stuff as well. The Las Vegas comedy scene has more delusions leaking from every squirrelly bar hosting a comedy night. Adam Dominguez promises you quality merch, and that’s how Patrick instantly knew it wasn’t. The Wayans brothers have a new scam …

NLO 1453: Headliners & Hoodwinks

January 25, 2023

The Las Vegas comedy scene is unique. Whether it’s the tendency of shows to be shorter, allowing comedians with less material to “move up” before they’re ready, or the mystique of being on stages meters away from icons and superstars, there is a level of delusion and flippant disrespect for both the art form and the process by which one becomes great. Patrick recently attended a night of programming at Jimmy Kimmel’s Comedy Club programmed by Adam Dominguez that was not only insanely disappointing, but indicative of several larger issues in this city. Every comedian who does fifteen minutes in a strip mall bar in Las Vegas thinks they are a headliner and have a fan base. Ever confused dummy with a day job is convinced they’re a viral video superstar …

Aftershow 1452: Neil Degrasse Tyson Meltdown

January 25, 2023

Neil deGrasse Tyson has a complete meltdown on a podcast when confronted with facts and data regarding the big pandemic shot, and it does not sit well with the Internet. Emotional, flailing and unable to self-soothe, Tyson spirals out and we are here for it! Did you know he's a scientist? He will remind everyone over and over, so don't worry! “Okay. By the way, I’m — I’m not claiming to be the expert on all this. I read all the same things you have. But I’m a scientist, so I read it as a scientist. Okay. They were trials. That’s what the point of phase 1, 2, 3 trials are all about. They’re tested enough to get data on how to then advise the larger population. Yes, It was tested. For you to say it wasn’t tested, is a gap between your awareness and understanding, how things work and what actually happened.”

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NLO 1452: Black Guilt

January 25, 2023

Kitty Pineapple can’t stop messaging Patrick and she really needs to decide if she’ sorry or tough. Casper and David “Holy Shhh” Hulett are struggling with their open mic, and instead of money you can now win noodles for the best set. Summer Sinclair thinks she can sing and needs to be dragged behind a car immediately. Comedians think goin viral is a credit but their social media accounts can never back it up. The Comedy Store experiences more drama as Patrick gets word of a physical fight between Sam Tripoli and girl band Machine Gun Kelly. Stupid people love to talk with their fists. The Golden Globes trot out their new host Jerrod Carmichael and it goes bad very fast. Watch a talented comic have a mental breakdown about race and being a victim. …

Aftershow 1451: Wild Women

January 20, 2023

Patrick doesn't want the fun to stop. Join him in catching up with some of the most wild stories on the internet that were popping off during the holiday season. We watch a big old fat lady who thinks she was kicked out of an establishment for being too fabulous and sexy while revealing her giant tub of a gut to everyone. Patrick recalls that this was a common sight on any flight with lots of Indian people. We also watch a woman lose her mind at a Florida airport by smashing everything around her and throwing computers at employees and customers. We should all use this a lesson to keep our composure and watch how we behave when the world and more importantly Worldstar is watching.

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NLO 1451: 9th Island Naive

January 18, 2023

Patrick has received a threat from Kitty Pineapple and it is not good. Could Patrick be on the verge of being cancelled? You decide! Nah but seriously, David Lee aka Kitty Pineapple aka Island 9 Fit Guy tried to blackmail Patrick, and it did not work in the most spectacular way. Why do Kitty Pineapple’s threats carry no weight? Why can’t she seem to focus on what she is actually upset about? Has this mediocre nobody confused herself so badly with someone who is successful that she thinks she has the power to “ruin” other comics? The delusion is strong with this one. We wish Penny Prince a happy birthday and try to focus on some of the positives of the Las Vegas comedy community. Lex Las Vegas is mad about something, but he’s so emotional and broken we can’t really tell what. …

NLO 1450: Bummer Sinclair

January 18, 2023

Patrick addresses some misunderstandings and makes some apologies for his past aggressions. Lex Las Vegas and Leah Menudo don’t deserve to be treated like common crooks. Kitty Pineapple is still just a gimmicky joke. Patrick has some tips for smoking meats. William Strange is a broken-brained, weak sourpuss of a man who uses being a victim to gain sympathy when it’s convenient while acting like a complete psychopath himself. Summer Sinclair raised her hand recently in a Facebook thread that was asking for female headliners, and no one deserves it less. This chick is closer to Andy Kaufman than any trans Dole whip out here in these streets. Patrick offers some advice to comedians who think that lying to themselves and others in a healthy look. …

NLO 1449: Gritty Pineapple

January 16, 2023

We hope you’re full of Christmas goose, or suckling pig, or tofurkey and whatnot, because Patrick has restocked the whiskey barrel and charged up his FPV drone for a fantastical flight of fury. This show is about heading in to 2023 with a healthy perception of reality. For instance, is Casper actually a decent comic? Does filming a two minute video do anything to drive your enemies crazy? Is David Lee actually Kitty Pineapple? There’s so many things to talk about in this show, and at times it gets a bit tense, but stay grounded, kids. It’s not about who the next Andy Kaufman is. It’s not about whether you get recognized everywhere you go. It’s about whether you sound mentally ill when you say things, and Patrick is the king! …

NLO 1448: Lax Las Vegas

January 11, 2023

Patrick gets an anonymous angry email regarding several people on the Las Vegas comedy scene! We have so many new rabbit holes to go down! We talk about comedian David Lee aka Kitty Pineapple and try to figure out what’s going on with that situation. Lex Las Vegas loves everyone in town, but we aren’t sure that’s a great thing. A pregnant open mic comic named Caitlyn Daisy B is being roasted in a smoky bar, because she’s an absolute killer comic and a legend on the Vegas scene. Jkjk it’s a garbage fire that won’t light because it’s soaked in amniotic fluid. Skippy Sprinkles is not good or funny, and it’s getting sad. Honesty is dead amongst comedians. …

NLO 1447: Forgetting Sara Schaefer

January 1, 2023

We talk about the fallout of the latest show about Butch Bradley and his misbehaving. The Sword and Scale podcast needs to be investigated. Lex Las Vegas and Trouble in Vegas are taking over this town! Casper quits YouTube in embarrassment. Patrick thinks people should stop being nice to everyone. Remember Sara Schaefer, the dead weight Nikki Glazer tried to carry around for a couple years? Patrick reminds viewers that before her big MTV break, Sara Schaefer thought she deserved to be a full-time comic, despite the lack of talent. She quit her job and begged for money in exchange for potholders she knit in her tiny Brooklyn bird box. We walk through what Sara has been up to since, and it’s mostly breakdowns and editing punchlines out of her own stories. …

Aftershow 1446: A Donkey Lips Christmas

December 27, 2022

Remember the show Salute Your Shorts on Nickelodeon in the 1990s? Of course you do, you little rapscallion. Donkeylips, aka Michael Ray Bower, has been an actor his whole life. But a few years ago his parents passed away, he ran out of money, and moved in to the saddest apartment in Hollywood and started cooking tacos in his own toilet. This latest update from Camp Anawanna's favorite fat fuck is even sadder than the ones before it. Pour some egg nog, maybe fry up some toilet tacos or another disgusting snack, and sit back and listen as Michael Ray Bower tells us why things have been so hard for him for the past few years. God speed, little friend!

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NLO 1446: Tip Me, Daddy!

December 27, 2022

Patrick is here on a Friday night, and the drinks and opinions are flowing. On this show, Patrick explores Donald Trump’s latest scam – collectible NFT trading cards, featuring some of the sickest Trump memes out there. What is he doing with this money? Who are the idiots advising our leaders? Elon Musk becomes more and more unhinged as he lets his personal emotions dictate policy at Twitter, sometimes with very little notice to users. Is someone after him? Doesn’t he have other companies to run? The White House is probably lying. Wild Fork Foods sends Patrick a very special gift package. Women are confused about who they are and how they are supposed to behave ad relate to men on dates. …