Aaron imholte Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Melton in the Morning – April 28, 2023

April 28, 2023

Happy Friday! Another week of calamity over in the Imholte household has Moby and the Scrimp shambling and constantly worrying about their bottom line. Sometimes they hit the goal, sometimes they don’t, but it’s always accompanied by a rant against the haters full of lies and copes. Bob Levy calls in to talk about recent drama with Chad Zumock and The BS Show. Tom McCaffrey is a real bitch of a comedian. Ray gets bodied on his own show again and wants to do solo shows now. Carlos Danger is a good guy. Chad Zumock is continuing to try to take a shark bite out of MLC. Jake Hudson shows us what southern cooking is all about. …

Melton in the Morning – April 26, 2023

April 26, 2023

Happy Wednesday, ya worms! So much drama in the NLO, it’s hard trying to keep up with who to be angry with. We talk about elves and why they are so hot, and all the guys in the chat room try to get it in with one of our own. The ladies of NLO are the hottest on the internet. Moody brags about being able to get a new booster soon for the thing that we all forgot about. Some intense discussion follows. Jake Hudson shoots his loyalty load too early. Bob Levy has had about enough of your bullshit. He’s fighting with Chad and taking down anyone who gets in his way. The mudshark marches forward. …

Melton in the Morning – April 25, 2023

April 25, 2023

Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Like a diamond in the sky, Patrick shines through to make your Tuesday far more “meh” thank it could have been. Patrick is live this morning to try to make up for yesterday’s debacle, but will he succeed? On this show, we break down all the recent drama between Chad Zumock and Kevin Brennan over the future of the MLC podcast.Today Kevin plans to have Karl from WATP on, and Chad knows it’s just meant to troll him. Chad calls in to defend calling Patrick a tall dumbass. Bob Levy and Shuli Egar are trying to drive the Shuli Network right over Nobody Likes Onions’ grave by stealing the early morning time slot. This means WAR! …

Melton in the Morning – April 24, 2023

April 24, 2023

The haters be hating, the lovers be lovin’ and Mondays gonna keep on comin’! It’s a new week, and with a new week comes new problems. Patrick spends nearly an hour getting defeated by technical issues. A hissing and popping and crackling sound have emerged and it’s beneath the standards of this program to proceed under such circumstances. Reboots, updates, and physical intervention all prove mostly fruitless, but at some point we learn to let go and have fun. No Cam Monday gives way to some cameras, a standoff for closure, a call-in to Shuli, a possible new theme song for morning shows, and newfound friendships in the chat room. …

Melton in the Morning – April 21, 2023

April 22, 2023

It’s Friday and the weekend is almost within your grasp! What could lubricate your slide in to two days of complete relaxation like a scrumptious sun-up scrimp session? We play a clip of Anthony Cumia while live streaming where he doesnt know anything about Steel Toe and dismisses the idea of them being on compound. This will bruise Aaron’s ego! We have our weekly scuffle with Stevie Lew. Today we are going to examine how April Imholte from the Steel Toe Morning Show copes with her small-town Minnesota life, her past mistakes, and her future prospects. Fat mom and toothless dad aside, April is responsible for her current situation. We are going to show you the life April wanted, the life April is trying to craft for herself, and the reality that is not going away any time soon. …

Melton in the Morning – ASK RAY ANYTHING! (April 19, 2023)

April 19, 2023

Happy Wednesday! Bad news – Ray DeVito won’t be on Steel Toe Morning Show this morning. More bad news – he will be on Nobody Likes Onions all morning, answering the tough questions and talking about whatever the chat room decides to direct us to talk about. The journey of why Ray is on the show today is a long and complicated one, including some late night tech support Tuesday evening. None of that matters, however, because we’ve got Chad Zumock’s best friend in the world joining us for a morning of FUN! Come watch as Ray squirms, Chad Zumock calls in steaming, and the chat room gets the answers to everything from matricide to bobblehead theft. …

Melton in the Morning – April 18, 2023

April 18, 2023

Come along and join Patrick as he embarks on a comedic journey to create the PlayPlace of podcasts! This morning we celebrate the wonder of the McMuffin, and you may even see Patrick eat himself silly and pop all over the place. That sounds like something nasty, but we assure you it isn’t! Huzzah! Warning – don’t do this. Patrick is an untrained professional with absolutely no experience and absolutely no expertise in competitive eating or dietary intake. This is a dumb show for dumbs. …

Melton in the Morning – McMuffin Monday

April 18, 2023

Come along and join Patrick as he embarks on a comedic journey to create the PlayPlace of podcasts! This morning we celebrate the wonder of the McMuffin, and you may even see Patrick eat himself silly and pop all over the place. That sounds like something nasty, but we assure you it isn’t! Huzzah! Warning – don’t do this. Patrick is an untrained professional with absolutely no experience and absolutely no expertise in competitive eating or dietary intake. This is a dumb show for dumbs. …

Steel Toe CRUMBLES on Compound, Fag Dad, Crazy Joe & More!

April 16, 2023

It’s Friday night and Patrick decides to have some adult juice for the first time in a couple weeks, and it goes off the rails very quickly. Slurred speech and lack of ability to focus are only the beginning of the derailment of this train. Patrick announces a goal for the night and the expiriment doesn’t necessarily go as planned. Find out why peanut butter cup wrappers and paper towels are flying arounf the studio for the majority of this over four hour long debacle of a program. Patrick spills so much drink that nothing may work again. We watch a video of Aaron Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show where he opens up about his beta relationship with April Imholte. It’s very funny and very cringe. All the women of the chat gang up on Patrick and call the show to prove they are real ladies, and Earl Skakel missed it all. …

Melton in the Morning – April 14, 2023

April 16, 2023

Friday’s were made for scrimpin’, and that’s just what we’ll do. One of these days I swear I’m gonna scrimp all over you! Mooby and The Scrimp are watching videos of Mooby trying to fight with him ham fists, and even better, trying to train other mealy-minded dopes to fight as well. The superchat grift is getting old to a lot of YouTube fans. Stevie Lew might be becoming an Onion, but it’s hard to tell. Patrick won’t just hate Bert Kreischer because you say so. The chat room teaches Patrick what a baleen is. Corey Adams streamed all night to threes of people and then deleted the video before Patrick could show people. Patrick wants to buy ad time on Steel Toe. Chad Zumock calls in. …

Melton in the Morning – April 13, 2023

April 16, 2023

Patrick has upgraded the entire sound chain in the studio, and gotten rid of the line noise and hiss that has slowly developed and mired the show in an unpleasant audio cacophony. But crisp audio and fun time are on the way. Patrick gets schooled on how to improve the show by David Attenborough. Corey Adam cannot stop showing his ass and we are here for it – you won’t believe how odd his new “show” is. Some ex-comic in Tampa named Mersh or Merch (no one can confirm) seems to be harboring a decade-long resentment of Patrick because of an interaction years ago. Patrick rejected Mersh’s insane offering of post-midnight steaks and skanks, and that has scarred his brain forever. …

Melton in the Morning – April 10, 2023

April 16, 2023

Good Mooby Monday! Come have some fun with Patrick and a train of thought that is sure to exclusively lead you on an adventure through your own brain! On today’s show we forget to even turn on Mooby and his little friend, and when we finally do, he’s seven minutes in to yelling about Patrick watching even though he wasn’t. We watch for half an hour today and bail as soon as Mooby moves on to making fun of black people with songs and voices. Patrick showcases some of the wretched Las Vegas comedy community, including Lex Las Vegas who recently did a comedy sketch parody about Mr. Onion, whatever that means. We call a strange man who challenged us to do so, and Patrick gets conned out of a $100 payday. …

LADIES NIGHT! Peanut Butter Cup Challenge!

April 8, 2023

It’s Friday night and Patrick decides to have some adult juice for the first time in a couple weeks, and it goes off the rails very quickly. Slurred speech and lack of ability to focus are only the beginning of the derailment of this train. Patrick announces a goal for the night and the expiriment doesn’t necessarily go as planned. Find out why peanut butter cup wrappers and paper towels are flying arounf the studio for the majority of this over four hour long debacle of a program. Patrick spills so much drink that nothing may work again. We watch a video of Aaron Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show where he opens up about his beta relationship with April Imholte. It’s very funny and very cringe. All the women of the chat gang up on Patrick and call the show to prove they are real ladies, and Earl Skakel missed it all. …

Ask Me Everything – April 4, 2023

April 8, 2023

Need someone to break up with your significant other? Can Patrick work something out between you and your boss, or a parent? Need advice on how to repair something in your house? Have a barbecue problem? Want to know what’s wrong with you? Patrick can help! While answering we explore Tim Heidecker, Patrick’s old standup videos from his super-fat days, Simply Sara, Adam Dominguez and more. We also uncover the Kyle Majestic archive and the world may never be the same. …

Melton in the Morning – April 6, 2023

April 8, 2023

Good morning, fish! The forecast calls for big scrimpin’ and lots of coastal cope cascading the cape! Get it? Alliteration! Aaron reveals what The Tampa Papers are and it’s the most insane thing you’ve ever seen. Corey Adams was on MLC and apparently it was A LOT. Watch as we break down Corey’s insane personality switch, not understand why people don’t like it, and then proceed to lie about Patrick while admitting he’s mad. Have some chamomile and take a nap, Corey. We sell a lot of hats and Patrick needs Kevin Brennan to stop being mad at ghosts he made up in his head. …

Melton in the Morning – April 5, 2023

April 8, 2023

Who will be Mooby’s co-host on the first Wednesday morning with a Corey-free Steel Toe Morning Show? Will it be The Scrimp? What will today’s mid-show snack be? What are The Tampa Files? Will Chad be in trouble? Can Patrick really help you save money on your car insurance? All these questions and more may be answered, but remember that they probably won’t be. We remind every one of Corey Adams potential, we get some great new Aaron and Thai poetry, and Patrick gives his thoughts on Chrissie Mayr while the chat keeps on hating. The best part of today’s show is Aaron trying to convince himself, The Scrimp and the audience that he’s done all he can do on the internet, there is no real competition online, and he needs to return to a small-town terrestrial radio station with April to prove he’s number one without a doubt. …

Melton in the Morning – April 3, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s Monday, and that means a whole new week ahead to try and decipher why we are trapped on this stupid rock, and more importantly, when will this all end? Join Patrick and a cast of animatronic fish as they navigate the world of teenage depressing and lighthearted friendship. We start the show with Patrick discussing a sensitive topic that makes the chat uncomfortable, but who really cares? Today we’re acknowledging the monotony of Mooby and the Gimp, and watching an old Steel Toe Morning Show where April cries several time on camera because her boyfriend lost hisTwitch stream. Mooby and the Scrimp then proceed to alternate between mad and sad, triumphant and defeated, depending on the chat messages. …

Steel Toe Watch Show – March 31, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s FRIDAY and it’s been one hell of a week for our favorite couple, Aaron and Ape of the Steel Toe Morning Show. With Aaron hot off his interview with Ray DeVito in what’s being called the most softball circle jerk on the internet this year, he’s sure to be doing extra victory laps and drinking huge glasses of gloat milk. Let’s join together to see how strong the velcro holding Mooby’s girdle is as his tits will surely be perky this cold Minnesota morning. We will be taking listener submitted drawings of what they think April’s mom might look like. Get your Crayons out! …