Featured Videos

MEMBERS ONLY! Patrick Is DONE! Come Mourn The Good Times!

In the quiet, there’s a place—Xylith’s Veil. A place where echoes twist into something else. Listen carefully. Sounds come, but they don’t leave. The walls bend, whispers grow teeth, and your shadow might start to follow you. The hours flicker strangely, like paper burning from the edges. Vernix once found the stillness there, but he’s not the same now. Will you be? Don’t ask. Don’t search for answers. Just listen. And when you hear it, don’t say its name.

Featured Videos

Members Only – November 23, 2024

Were you forced to spend Friday night and all day Saturday with you friends and family, rather than hanging in a chat of debaucherous nerds talking about everything from Push Pops to Pinwheels! Come on down and have fun with Patrick and the gang! Pull up a thong and light up a SONG! Okay?

Featured Videos

MEMZ CLUB! Are you a MEMZ?

Times are tough all over! Grab your favorite bottle of scotch and saddle up to the NLO saloon for some high times and high tea! We’re diving into the wild wacky world of recklessness! Who’s in? Call your dad because it’s gonna be a late one! What does that mean?

Featured Videos

RUN, PIGGY, RUN! A Chad Zumock Experience

Chad Zumock stole sandwiches from Whole Foods. Chad Zumock stole credit cards from Veterans. Chad Zumock broke in to his ex-girlfriend’s house in the middle of the night. Chad Zumock fell asleep and drove in to a tree at 3am. Chad Zumock faked getting jumped for YouTube clicks. Chad Zumock bought Twitter followers. Chad Zumock told a depressed coworker to end herself. Chad Zumock is afraid of people making fun of his videos. Chad Zumock sticks up for himself with fake social media accounts. Chad Zumock is banned from comedy clubs for being a nuisance.

Featured Videos

FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!

Get stroked about it, querms! Patrick is back after a week of insane breakdowns and lots of build up, but the dentist could be handling that for him this weekend, if you know what I mean! I don’t know why I said that. It’s not coded. I have a dentist appointment. I also just switched to first person. It’s just me. I’m so alone. Come drink with me on this Friday of L’s I’ve been stacking up lately!

Featured Videos

MEMBERS ONLY LATE NIGHT HANG!

Come join Patrick and a cast of imaginary friends as they set sail for whimsy aboard the USS Rainbow. Will they ever find the magic starfish medallion? Can they rescue the mermaid from the pirates before her time runs out? Ask the gamekeepers, man! We are here to chill about it!

Featured Videos

MEMBERS ONLY: DonkeyLips LIVE! Mersh Is Messing Up More! Aaron Imholte Is OUT OF IDEAS!

Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips is in Pennsylvania and doing a media tour for a nostalgic Nickelodeon convention he is signing pictures at this weekend. It’s a different Bower than we’ve recently seen at home depressed. Mersh is a character and we can’t stop watching him dream of success while wasting all his money gambling on women’s tennis.Aaron Imholte has given up and knows it won’t be long before he’s selling cars or hot dogs downtown. You won’t believe the laziness!

Featured Videos

“Comedian” Godfrey Is a MORON! No Ideas & PILLED OUT?! You Be The Judge! How Much Does He STINK?

It’s Friday and Patrick is finally getting used to being back in the states, what with your burger sandwiches and your Texas-style barbecue and southern fried chitlins. Hit the like button! There’s gonna be a lot of music and attitude, so leave the complaints about it in your brain, grandcha. We explore Godfrey, Chad’s bestest friend and one of the greatest comedians on the planet. Turns out Godfrey is slow af, or really has a substance abuse problem. Which do you think it is? Watch one of the worst podcasts we have ever seen from anyone ever. This guy has no personality and no ideas, and is so delusional he thinks he could play the next Spiderman and blames racism on his lack of success when it’s clear he just stinks. Join Patrick for a fun free fall through fanaticism. Who know’s what we will get up to!

NLO Shows

July 29, 2024: WOAH! Comedian Godfrey Messages Men at 5AM! TLC Gets BIG MAD at NLO!

Patrick is cranky and it must be a curse! The whole show comes crashing down and Patrick ignores warnings that he is upsetting the copyright gods by watching Gino and Jasmine from 90-Day Fiance. Watch as it all comes crashing down live, minus the parts TLC made NLO delete, of course. So enjoy a butchered up version of what was! Patrick is annoyed by Facebook and comedians who can’t stop flexing complete nonsense. Chad Zumock can’t stop badmouthing has-been comedian Patrick to some of the biggest comedians in the world, AND Godfrey! Patrick found a weird message from Godfrey sent at 5am earlier this month. What do you make of this complete nonsense?