chad zumock Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 17, 2023)

May 18, 2023

It’s Wednesday and we’re looking forward to another fun day of complete drama and more meltdowns in the MLC universe. Ray DeVito has quickly become the superchat-magnet and lolcow of the moment. Will the rift between Kevin Brennan and Shuli continue to grow? Will Kevin continue to needle the relationship with Bob Levy? Patrick launches some new merch that you’re gonna wanna grab. We break down one of the most insane responses to being roasted that has ever been viewed by human eyeballs. This KC Armstrong fella is GOLD! Spend your Wednesday right here, sweet thang! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 16, 2023)

May 18, 2023

If you’re seeing noise, don’t adjust your sets. The aftermath of The Shuli Network and their LIVE Pottstown, PA show has left most bystanders scratching one or more body parts. What happened out there in those woods? Who is Perry Caravello and why is everyone using him? What’s the deal with Ray? Is he actually this challenged? We plow through the most insane event of the month, next to Daryl Hall’s mom’s funeral. …

Members Only Show – May 12, 2023

May 13, 2023

It’s Friday and our members only show is about to start popping, so grab an XL soda pop or a bucket of ketchup and get in here! We start out watching our favorite Untrainable, Ray DeVito, as he podcasts yet again about his lack of knowledge and interest in anything other than beer, women he won’t take a shot with, and emo bands he loves. The latest nonsense regarding MLC and Chad Zumock is in the air. We switch over to Pottstown, PA where Bob Levy, Shuli, and Perry Caravello are live streaming, and Patrick is blown away by how insane it is to watch people use a handicapped mentally ill man to get superchats. We finish with our very own naughty elf, Dirty Dalish, sharing a very culinary sexual experience she once had, and diving a bit in to the men on the podcast that is interviewing her. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 12, 2023)

May 13, 2023

It’s a tumultuous Friday here at the Onion, and Patrick brought the stamina to endure. The chat is arguing and working Patrick up in to a frenzy today, with strong feelings about Chad Zumock, Kevin Brennan, Ray Devito, Bob Levy, Shuli Egar and more. Why does everyone hate Chad so much? Why does everyone pile on to Shuli? Is anyone even redeemable anymore? The constant polarization of popularity is hurting the Dabbleverse. Bryan Johnson (Tell Em Steve Dave) calls in to clarify some details about his appearance yesterday and the history of his relationship with Bob and Shuli. We watch an interview with CORNdiff and Chad Zumock. Steel Toe continues embarrassing themselves by begging fans to buy their overpriced and under-researched coffee. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 11, 2023)

May 13, 2023

Patrick is fairly ill, but is going to attempt a show. Please don’t make him raise his voice. It’s not very nice, and he hasn’t really had a voice for a day and a half. Can’t we all just get along? Apparently not. The MLC and Chad stuff is just getting sad and the superchats are drying up! Will we survive these dark times? How will we ever go on? Patrick proudly launches Steel Toe Morning Show unlicensed merch, including hoodies and t-shirts that will make you scratch hard. Patrick has a new special coming out and you get to decide if it’s good or not. Chad Zumock calls in to give us his daily thoughts. The Steel Toe Coffee launch is a self-owning we could never have dreamed of, and Aaron and April must be as dumb as dolts! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 9, 2023)

May 10, 2023

It’s a special Toe-tastic Tuesday, as Aaron Imholte aka Mooby imports his favorite internet boy crush, Geno Bisconte, in to his program for a couple hours of mutual tube tugging. Their backs are sure to be sore after this session! Kevin Brennan loses Round One of the week, suffering ignored calls and getting out-earned by Chad Zumock, his current nemesis. Bob Levy gives out all his stepdaughter’s info on Legion of Skanks, and this might just change everything. We watch the BS show where they don’t really address any of the serious stuff, but have Ray and Barry Ribs on to distract and amuse. We make Geno funnier with the Benny Hill Theme and some fabulously-timed bouncing emotes. …

SPECIAL: Legion of Cranks!

May 8, 2023

Our favorite Shuli Network nuts Bob Levy and Shuli Egar are headed to the big city to appear on Legion of Skanks with Luis J. Gomez, Big Jay Oakerson and more. Let’s watch an see if his really is intent on starting Podcast Wars 2023 or if this is all just fun and shames. Kevin is back on the defense as Chad rakes in the superchats and successfully silences Kevin’s lines of communication. What will happen next? Let’s go! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 8, 2023)

May 8, 2023

What a weekend, am I right? Patrick discusses the most recent drama in the MLC universe, including Ray DeVito and his obsessions with writing checks his chin can’t cash. Patrick has determined, along with religious counsel from Reverend Mir, that Ray may beyond saving. Kevin continues his weekend streaming warpath. Chad gets rattled with an unexpected attack of his friends on Friday. Patrick gets nearly $500 from a drunk fan on Saturday night. Mersh is sad and wants your good vibes. Our DISCORD is popping so come on down: https://discord.gg/wzMe88DC …

MLC EMERGENCY SHOW!

May 8, 2023

EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! Just kidding! This is a podcast on a platform for videos and Patrick is a comedian. None of this is of any importance! Patrick watches the late night MLC stream featuring Bob Levy and Ray Devito. Ray keeps saying insane things and lying while trying to still appease everyone. He’s a lost cause. Kevin Brennan and his guests get drunk and have a blast. Patrick gets talked (or superchatted) in to doing another hour, and we wade in to a disgusting minster named Mersh. A superfan named Brandon shows up and superchats about $500 in just a matter of minutes. Hero? Drunk? Who knows? …

MELTON in the MORNING! April’s Tragic Beans (May 5, 2023)

May 7, 2023

It’s FRIDAY, baby! We love to see you squirm! And it’s Cinco de Mayo, but let’s not be cracking open beers at this hour, ok? Not talking to anyone specific! Just anyone. Any Floridian. Today’s Friday Art Project – design your best idea for the Steel Toe Coffee Company logo and/or label! The best part of waking up is scrimp eggs in your cup! We also discuss yesterday’s MLC fallout, discuss future possibilities with Opie and Stuttering John, and put a very naughty cherry on top for your best weekend ever! …

MLC Aftershow – May 4, 2023

May 7, 2023

Patrick is scheduled to appear on Misery Loves Company with Kevin Brennan and Bob Levy on Thursday, May 4, 2023. Come join Patrick and whoever wants to call in and give their opinions after the show on the most controversial onion on the internet? Who did Patrick cuck out to? Promise you’re never gonna listen again? Is Patrick the new Stuttering John? We’d love to hear your hottest takes about the MLC universe right here! Chad Zumock calls in. Ray Devito calls in, Patrick gets all the hot takes from the chat. …

Melton in the Morning – May 3, 2023

May 3, 2023

Stevie Lew is on Steel Toe Morning Show today! Will it be good? Funny? Silly? TOO much? We find out! Plus all the latest gossip from Chad, MLC and those crazy boys! New evidence has been made available which appears to show Chad on camera while the phone call comes in to Bob, meaning Chad could not be the one who made the threatening call to Bob. Yet some people are not sure. Stevie Lew geeks out on Steel Toe, giddy over being on the show with one of his comedy heroes, Aaron Imholte. Lil Mir is officially the spiritual leader of the Onions. We reach 500 members thanks to some very generous chat members giving up the goods! Thanks for hanging this hump day with your favorite hump-back host! …

Melton in the Morning – May 2, 2023

May 2, 2023

It’s TUESDAY, TUESDAY, gotta get down on Tuesday. Everybody’s waiting for the mid-weed, mid-week! Patrick begins the show discussing yesterday’s controversial show with Kyle Anderson, Patrick wades in to the latest insanity in the MLC versus Chad Zumock universe, not knowing exactly where this conflict is going or why. Bob Levy unloads on Chad after a supposed phone call at the end of Monday’s MLC show where Chad calls in and threaten’s Levy. Was it Chad on the phone, though? Can anyone piece together the timeline and divulge if it was even possible that Chad was behind this call. Is there any chance of deescalating these men and getting them to settle their differences. We also check out Mooby’s girdle and watch his latest insane spin on Steel Toe Morning Show and their prize night. …

Melton in the Morning – May 1, 2023

May 1, 2023

It’s a new week.- a new month, for that matter – and we are kicking it off with comedian Kyle Anderson, one of the only people insane enough to wake up at 2:30am to do a podcast for the promise of nothing but dozens of likes and some cold McMuffins with a friend. Kyle is a comedian who you may know as the creator of a certain popular viral video documentary about a comedian you may or may not have messages from in your DM’s. Watch as these two obese men giggle nonstop at the nuance and depravity of the likes of Steel Toe trying to launch a coffee and Michael Ray Bower plugging merch and explaining conspiracy theories. …

NLO 1462: Wayne, Wayne, Go Away

April 30, 2023

Rodney Wayne, one of Earth’s slowest-brained Neanderthals, has taken months to respond to the Vegas comedy community’s critique of his gnarly appearance and disgusting talent. Wayne has incorrectly hooked up a microphone in his spare bathroom to record one of the most softboi responses to a critique he could muster, and it’s packed with lies that must now be refuted with evidence. If you’ve ever wanted to see a guy admit all his losses, insane coping rewrites of documented events, and how not to handle someone teasing you, make sure to watch this train wreck. You didn’t like Patrick showing your son on his stream? You messaged him and told him to take it down? You won’t stand for it? …

Members Only Show – April 28, 2023

April 28, 2023

It’s Friday and our members only show must go on! Come on baby, light my fire. Come on and inflate my tire. Let’s stream HBO’s The Wire. Chad Zumock gets called a liar. Stevie Lew don’t know about mire. Bologna is that Oscar Meyer. Frodo is about that shire. That chic Gaaa could not be shyer. The Chrysler building has a spire. You dig? Patric does a low-key freestyle hang with fans as we check in on some of the most iconic, insane and boring people in the podcast-verse. Who will win the award for creep of the night? Is Tom McCaffrey interesting on other podcasts? Remember Jake’s finger this morning? Does anything even matter after that? …

Melton in the Morning – April 28, 2023

April 28, 2023

Happy Friday! Another week of calamity over in the Imholte household has Moby and the Scrimp shambling and constantly worrying about their bottom line. Sometimes they hit the goal, sometimes they don’t, but it’s always accompanied by a rant against the haters full of lies and copes. Bob Levy calls in to talk about recent drama with Chad Zumock and The BS Show. Tom McCaffrey is a real bitch of a comedian. Ray gets bodied on his own show again and wants to do solo shows now. Carlos Danger is a good guy. Chad Zumock is continuing to try to take a shark bite out of MLC. Jake Hudson shows us what southern cooking is all about. …

Melton in the Morning – April 26, 2023

April 26, 2023

Happy Wednesday, ya worms! So much drama in the NLO, it’s hard trying to keep up with who to be angry with. We talk about elves and why they are so hot, and all the guys in the chat room try to get it in with one of our own. The ladies of NLO are the hottest on the internet. Moody brags about being able to get a new booster soon for the thing that we all forgot about. Some intense discussion follows. Jake Hudson shoots his loyalty load too early. Bob Levy has had about enough of your bullshit. He’s fighting with Chad and taking down anyone who gets in his way. The mudshark marches forward. …