chad zumock Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1462: Wayne, Wayne, Go Away

April 30, 2023

Rodney Wayne, one of Earth’s slowest-brained Neanderthals, has taken months to respond to the Vegas comedy community’s critique of his gnarly appearance and disgusting talent. Wayne has incorrectly hooked up a microphone in his spare bathroom to record one of the most softboi responses to a critique he could muster, and it’s packed with lies that must now be refuted with evidence. If you’ve ever wanted to see a guy admit all his losses, insane coping rewrites of documented events, and how not to handle someone teasing you, make sure to watch this train wreck. You didn’t like Patrick showing your son on his stream? You messaged him and told him to take it down? You won’t stand for it? …

Members Only Show – April 28, 2023

April 28, 2023

It’s Friday and our members only show must go on! Come on baby, light my fire. Come on and inflate my tire. Let’s stream HBO’s The Wire. Chad Zumock gets called a liar. Stevie Lew don’t know about mire. Bologna is that Oscar Meyer. Frodo is about that shire. That chic Gaaa could not be shyer. The Chrysler building has a spire. You dig? Patric does a low-key freestyle hang with fans as we check in on some of the most iconic, insane and boring people in the podcast-verse. Who will win the award for creep of the night? Is Tom McCaffrey interesting on other podcasts? Remember Jake’s finger this morning? Does anything even matter after that? …

Melton in the Morning – April 28, 2023

April 28, 2023

Happy Friday! Another week of calamity over in the Imholte household has Moby and the Scrimp shambling and constantly worrying about their bottom line. Sometimes they hit the goal, sometimes they don’t, but it’s always accompanied by a rant against the haters full of lies and copes. Bob Levy calls in to talk about recent drama with Chad Zumock and The BS Show. Tom McCaffrey is a real bitch of a comedian. Ray gets bodied on his own show again and wants to do solo shows now. Carlos Danger is a good guy. Chad Zumock is continuing to try to take a shark bite out of MLC. Jake Hudson shows us what southern cooking is all about. …

Melton in the Morning – April 26, 2023

April 26, 2023

Happy Wednesday, ya worms! So much drama in the NLO, it’s hard trying to keep up with who to be angry with. We talk about elves and why they are so hot, and all the guys in the chat room try to get it in with one of our own. The ladies of NLO are the hottest on the internet. Moody brags about being able to get a new booster soon for the thing that we all forgot about. Some intense discussion follows. Jake Hudson shoots his loyalty load too early. Bob Levy has had about enough of your bullshit. He’s fighting with Chad and taking down anyone who gets in his way. The mudshark marches forward. …

Melton in the Morning – April 25, 2023

April 25, 2023

Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are. Like a diamond in the sky, Patrick shines through to make your Tuesday far more “meh” thank it could have been. Patrick is live this morning to try to make up for yesterday’s debacle, but will he succeed? On this show, we break down all the recent drama between Chad Zumock and Kevin Brennan over the future of the MLC podcast.Today Kevin plans to have Karl from WATP on, and Chad knows it’s just meant to troll him. Chad calls in to defend calling Patrick a tall dumbass. Bob Levy and Shuli Egar are trying to drive the Shuli Network right over Nobody Likes Onions’ grave by stealing the early morning time slot. This means WAR! …

Melton in the Morning – April 24, 2023

April 24, 2023

The haters be hating, the lovers be lovin’ and Mondays gonna keep on comin’! It’s a new week, and with a new week comes new problems. Patrick spends nearly an hour getting defeated by technical issues. A hissing and popping and crackling sound have emerged and it’s beneath the standards of this program to proceed under such circumstances. Reboots, updates, and physical intervention all prove mostly fruitless, but at some point we learn to let go and have fun. No Cam Monday gives way to some cameras, a standoff for closure, a call-in to Shuli, a possible new theme song for morning shows, and newfound friendships in the chat room. …

Melton in the Morning – April 21, 2023

April 22, 2023

It’s Friday and the weekend is almost within your grasp! What could lubricate your slide in to two days of complete relaxation like a scrumptious sun-up scrimp session? We play a clip of Anthony Cumia while live streaming where he doesnt know anything about Steel Toe and dismisses the idea of them being on compound. This will bruise Aaron’s ego! We have our weekly scuffle with Stevie Lew. Today we are going to examine how April Imholte from the Steel Toe Morning Show copes with her small-town Minnesota life, her past mistakes, and her future prospects. Fat mom and toothless dad aside, April is responsible for her current situation. We are going to show you the life April wanted, the life April is trying to craft for herself, and the reality that is not going away any time soon. …

Members Only Show – April 21, 2023

April 22, 2023

It’s Friday and our members only show tradition continues! Join Patrick as the chat baits him in to some of the most stupid conversations. Patrick tries to finish all the weed in the studio but the cough is a lot. We talk about the latest Chad and Kevin Brennan drama, including today’s drunken streaming of the MLC Podcast. Hipstar is one of the most awkward motherfuckers you’ve ever seen in your life. Stevie Lew doesn’t show up. The women refuse to abandon this show. Moody and Patrick try to out-embarrass one another. We catch up with Michael Ray Bower. We find out what a Kevin Dumbrowski is. Crazy Joe may be on the verge of a renaissance. …

Melton in the Morning – ASK RAY ANYTHING! (April 19, 2023)

April 19, 2023

Happy Wednesday! Bad news – Ray DeVito won’t be on Steel Toe Morning Show this morning. More bad news – he will be on Nobody Likes Onions all morning, answering the tough questions and talking about whatever the chat room decides to direct us to talk about. The journey of why Ray is on the show today is a long and complicated one, including some late night tech support Tuesday evening. None of that matters, however, because we’ve got Chad Zumock’s best friend in the world joining us for a morning of FUN! Come watch as Ray squirms, Chad Zumock calls in steaming, and the chat room gets the answers to everything from matricide to bobblehead theft. …

Melton in the Morning – April 18, 2023

April 18, 2023

Come along and join Patrick as he embarks on a comedic journey to create the PlayPlace of podcasts! This morning we celebrate the wonder of the McMuffin, and you may even see Patrick eat himself silly and pop all over the place. That sounds like something nasty, but we assure you it isn’t! Huzzah! Warning – don’t do this. Patrick is an untrained professional with absolutely no experience and absolutely no expertise in competitive eating or dietary intake. This is a dumb show for dumbs. …

Melton in the Morning – McMuffin Monday

April 18, 2023

Come along and join Patrick as he embarks on a comedic journey to create the PlayPlace of podcasts! This morning we celebrate the wonder of the McMuffin, and you may even see Patrick eat himself silly and pop all over the place. That sounds like something nasty, but we assure you it isn’t! Huzzah! Warning – don’t do this. Patrick is an untrained professional with absolutely no experience and absolutely no expertise in competitive eating or dietary intake. This is a dumb show for dumbs. …

Steel Toe CRUMBLES on Compound, Fag Dad, Crazy Joe & More!

April 16, 2023

It’s Friday night and Patrick decides to have some adult juice for the first time in a couple weeks, and it goes off the rails very quickly. Slurred speech and lack of ability to focus are only the beginning of the derailment of this train. Patrick announces a goal for the night and the expiriment doesn’t necessarily go as planned. Find out why peanut butter cup wrappers and paper towels are flying arounf the studio for the majority of this over four hour long debacle of a program. Patrick spills so much drink that nothing may work again. We watch a video of Aaron Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show where he opens up about his beta relationship with April Imholte. It’s very funny and very cringe. All the women of the chat gang up on Patrick and call the show to prove they are real ladies, and Earl Skakel missed it all. …

Melton in the Morning – April 14, 2023

April 16, 2023

Friday’s were made for scrimpin’, and that’s just what we’ll do. One of these days I swear I’m gonna scrimp all over you! Mooby and The Scrimp are watching videos of Mooby trying to fight with him ham fists, and even better, trying to train other mealy-minded dopes to fight as well. The superchat grift is getting old to a lot of YouTube fans. Stevie Lew might be becoming an Onion, but it’s hard to tell. Patrick won’t just hate Bert Kreischer because you say so. The chat room teaches Patrick what a baleen is. Corey Adams streamed all night to threes of people and then deleted the video before Patrick could show people. Patrick wants to buy ad time on Steel Toe. Chad Zumock calls in. …

LADIES NIGHT! Peanut Butter Cup Challenge!

April 8, 2023

It’s Friday night and Patrick decides to have some adult juice for the first time in a couple weeks, and it goes off the rails very quickly. Slurred speech and lack of ability to focus are only the beginning of the derailment of this train. Patrick announces a goal for the night and the expiriment doesn’t necessarily go as planned. Find out why peanut butter cup wrappers and paper towels are flying arounf the studio for the majority of this over four hour long debacle of a program. Patrick spills so much drink that nothing may work again. We watch a video of Aaron Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show where he opens up about his beta relationship with April Imholte. It’s very funny and very cringe. All the women of the chat gang up on Patrick and call the show to prove they are real ladies, and Earl Skakel missed it all. …

Steel Toe Watch Show – March 31, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s FRIDAY and it’s been one hell of a week for our favorite couple, Aaron and Ape of the Steel Toe Morning Show. With Aaron hot off his interview with Ray DeVito in what’s being called the most softball circle jerk on the internet this year, he’s sure to be doing extra victory laps and drinking huge glasses of gloat milk. Let’s join together to see how strong the velcro holding Mooby’s girdle is as his tits will surely be perky this cold Minnesota morning. We will be taking listener submitted drawings of what they think April’s mom might look like. Get your Crayons out! …

Ray DeVito VS. Steel Toe Morning Show

April 8, 2023

Ray Devito has landed an interview with the internet’s hottest grifter, Aaron and April Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show. But Ray has a reputation for going along to get along, being non-confrontational and toothless with his interviewing skills. Can Ray get his act together enough to ask the tough questions? Almost certainly not. Will Ray be able to hold Aaron’s feet to the fire and not accept his worming his way out of topics he doesn’t like? Definitely maybe most likely not. But will it be fun to watch Steel Toe navigate the treacherous waters of one of the safest interviewers performing amidst some of the meanest and most pointed superchats ever. Will it be worth watching? Find out with the Onions! …

Steel Toe Prize Night – March 29, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s PRIZE NIGHT at the Imholte household. April has a new t-shirt she’s slit down the front so you can see those honkers, and the bingo hopper has fresh shine to it from all the shrimpy egg juice in the air. Will Aaron be so stupid as to perform his illegal lottery right before our very eyes, thereby entitling all of us to compensatory legal action? Only time will tell! Join Patrick and a bunch of idiots who think that somehow throwing money at two midwestern midwits somehow means that they themselves are winners. …

Steel Toe Watch Show – March 29, 2023

April 8, 2023

It’s a DOUBLE-BANGER of a day, as we rise to Corey’s last morning on Steel Toe, and there’s a double layer of cope that is sure to envelope the entire show. Corey has to convince himself he’s on to bigger and better things, and Mooby has to act like a father who is allowing his son to head off in to the world to try to live up to the teachings of his sloppy-titted mentor. Mooby has decided to donate half the superchats from today to Corey – an original idea for certain. Will there be a lot of discussion about Corey leaving? Will Mooby be able to fill four hours without having a goal to reach? And will the fans turn up for Corey and donate a lot of money for his big send off? Only time will tell. …