Patrick bet everything he had on the big fight an it’s weighing on his conscience. Can we talk about something funny for once? Will you please stop bringing everyone down about it? This is the worst. …
Patrick pretends to be drunk for almost two hours to show how desperate the people who hate Nick are to believe their own narratives. Please don’t comment about how bad this is. Everyone knows. It’s on purpose. …
It’s the day after ween, and all through them street, you can gather up candy, and gobble them sweets. Join Patrick and his maritime friends for a romp in the seas and a a helluva good time! I gotta have AI start writing these things! …
Times are tough all over! Grab your favorite bottle of scotch and saddle up to the NLO saloon for some high times and high tea! We’re diving into the wild wacky world of recklessness! Who’s in? Call your dad because it’s gonna be a late one! What does that mean? …
Patrick does a Members Only show discussing some of our favorites, including Simply Sara and Royce Miller eating some ungodly items, as well as a check in with Aaron Imholte of the Steel Toe Morning Show. …
Chad Zumock stole sandwiches from Whole Foods. Chad Zumock stole credit cards from Veterans. Chad Zumock broke in to his ex-girlfriend’s house in the middle of the night. Chad Zumock fell asleep and drove in to a tree at 3am. Chad Zumock faked getting jumped for YouTube clicks. Chad Zumock bought Twitter followers. Chad Zumock told a depressed coworker to end herself. Chad Zumock is afraid of people making fun of his videos. Chad Zumock sticks up for himself with fake social media accounts. Chad Zumock is banned from comedy clubs for being a nuisance. …
Enjoy this special overtime bonus! …
Come on baby, light my fire. Come on daddy, fill my tire. Come on Jerry you’re a liar. Most birds are classified as flyers. Let’s go hang in the shire. Things are looking pretty dire. …
Get stroked about it, querms! Patrick is back after a week of insane breakdowns and lots of build up, but the dentist could be handling that for him this weekend, if you know what I mean! I don’t know why I said that. It’s not coded. I have a dentist appointment. I also just switched to first person. It’s just me. I’m so alone. Come drink with me on this Friday of L’s I’ve been stacking up lately! …
Come join Patrick and a cast of imaginary friends as they set sail for whimsy aboard the USS Rainbow. Will they ever find the magic starfish medallion? Can they rescue the mermaid from the pirates before her time runs out? Ask the gamekeepers, man! We are here to chill about it! …
Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips is in Pennsylvania and doing a media tour for a nostalgic Nickelodeon convention he is signing pictures at this weekend. It’s a different Bower than we’ve recently seen at home depressed. Mersh is a character and we can’t stop watching him dream of success while wasting all his money gambling on women’s tennis.Aaron Imholte has given up and knows it won’t be long before he’s selling cars or hot dogs downtown. You won’t believe the laziness! …
It’s Friday and Patrick is finally getting used to being back in the states, what with your burger sandwiches and your Texas-style barbecue and southern fried chitlins. Hit the like button! There’s gonna be a lot of music and attitude, so leave the complaints about it in your brain, grandcha. We explore Godfrey, Chad’s bestest friend and one of the greatest comedians on the planet. Turns out Godfrey is slow af, or really has a substance abuse problem. Which do you think it is? Watch one of the worst podcasts we have ever seen from anyone ever. This guy has no personality and no ideas, and is so delusional he thinks he could play the next Spiderman and blames racism on his lack of success when it’s clear he just stinks. Join Patrick for a fun free fall through fanaticism. Who know’s what we will get up to! …
Patrick is cranky and it must be a curse! The whole show comes crashing down and Patrick ignores warnings that he is upsetting the copyright gods by watching Gino and Jasmine from 90-Day Fiance. Watch as it all comes crashing down live, minus the parts TLC made NLO delete, of course. So enjoy a butchered up version of what was! Patrick is annoyed by Facebook and comedians who can’t stop flexing complete nonsense. Chad Zumock can’t stop badmouthing has-been comedian Patrick to some of the biggest comedians in the world, AND Godfrey! Patrick found a weird message from Godfrey sent at 5am earlier this month. What do you make of this complete nonsense? …
© Copyright 2005-2023 Nobody Likes Onions