donkeylips

NLO Shows

April 1, 2024: The STUTJO Ultimatum! Celebrate CHANGE With THE WALL! DonkeyLips HATES Help!

April 1, 2024

Just because it’s April Fool’s Day doesn’t mean we will be tricking people left and right over here. That kind of thing is best reserved for shows who need to distract you with works and whistles. We do a serious, fun show over here. Aaron Imholte needs money this month, and he is definitely going keep reminding us about it so that him and his wife can continue their make-believe careers. Donkeylips aka Micheal Ray Bower does not want a new computer for free. He’d rather keep complaining about obstacles and hardships so he doesn’t ever have to actually try. John Melendez aka Stuttering John inspires Patrick to declare April the month of celebrating change. Won’t you come help us celebrate change and truth? …

NLO Shows

March 28, 2024: Kevin Brennan GASLIGHTS His Life! An Offer DONKEYLIPS Can’t Refuse!

March 28, 2024

Early onset Kevin cannot stop lying to his audience, and more importantly himself, about his relationships with people and his career. Resulting to putting down Dave Attell to make himself feel better about the obvious state of his life. Let’s watch Kevin’s latest show and pick apart what the old man is going through, and what the immediate future could hold for the future of Misery Loves Company. Michael Ray Bower is on a run of bad luck. First, his decade-old computer has given up the ghost, and his repeated attempts to talk it in to working and replace it with an even older machine have failed. As if things couldn’t get worse, Donkeylips could have been involved in the kid-touching scandals at Nickelodeon? Perhaps a recent package can turn things around for the once-prolific actor-turned-sad-sack. …

NLO Shows

March 19, 2024: TUBBY TUESDAY! Catching Up With ALL The Fats! Steel Toe EXCUSE SHOW Coverage!

March 19, 2024

Forget about Kevin Brennan and his wobbly green screen and face-melting bad breath for a day. The Steel Toe Morning Show is becoming a parody of itself – each day beginning with addressing haters, rumors, detractors, and trolls about anything and everything they’ve heard. Of course, Aaron still has to mention Patrick and go on a road-trip of success in his own head to self-soothe. Today we’ve got updates from our favorite fats, including Mersh, Corey Adam, Donkeylips, and of course some of the most rotund ladies on the internet. Whether you’re looking for a tasty treat, or you need some advice on how to live a life that’s larger than most, we have you covered on today’s Nobody Likes Onions. …

NLO Shows

March 12, 2024: Chad Zumock Is PAINFULLY Dumb! Donkeylips is Being SHADOWBANNED!? Heather’s BABY!

March 12, 2024

My how THE TURN tables! Chad Zumock has seemingly worn out his welcome for the third time as a guest on the MLC podcast with Kevin Brennan. Kevin unloads on Chad in a tirade as nonsensical as it was unexpected, referencing everything from crashing his car to wishing Chrissy Mayr’s baby death. When Kevin is done with you, he’s done. Pat Dixon gets caught in the crossfire. Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips is depressed about something that may or may not be happening to him. It’s hard to tell when paranoia seems to run his life. Heather Gillespie has had her baby taken away from her, and she has a lot of advice and information for everyone else on how to live while she waits to earn that baby back! …

NLO Shows

February 27, 2024: FAT TUESDAY! Gross Piggies Only! Bring Your Wiping Sticks!

February 27, 2024

We can’t continue our journey through the Dabbleverse without stopping along the way for some sweet sustenance. Pull over with Patrick and gather some provisions with some of our favorite porkers on the internet. Today we catch up with Michael Ray Bower, aka Donkeylips, as he learns what his body is capable of at his mature age. Planet with a Palate inspires others by teaching that you’re never to fat to roll around your kitchen on a chair. We’ve got a new fat lady to watch live a day in the life of the super-obese. And if there’s time we could learn a thing or two about a thing or two from the fine people at Hardees. Grab a meal and a fork and join us at the adult table, won’t you? …

NLO Shows

February 19, 2024: GIFTGATE! Is SHULI NETWORK Desperate? Heather Gillespie’s BABY WATCH!

February 19, 2024

It’s president’s day, and Patrick is the commander-in-chief of all the clip shows! A listener is able to demonstrate purchasing memberships for pennies on the dollar, opening up some serious accusations against The Shuli Network. But is it just needless hate and speculation, or is there any evidence of foul play? Is Kevin Brennan chasing the numbers dragon himself in light of newly available data? Let’s have a look at the numbers! Corey Adam takes a vacation with his mom and can’t stop making boring reels about it. Heather Gillespie is overdue and little baby Rico must be clairvoyant, because he’s refusing to come out and join his mother on her loser parade through life. We check in on what might be the worst mom in America. …

NLO Shows

February 8, 2024: CHAD ZUMOCK’S Delusion Spiral! IMHOLTE Divorce Watch! Bower Has NEW Excuses?

February 8, 2024

It’s Thursday, but it might as well be Friday! After today’s show, Patrick is packing up and heading to the airport to head to Atlantic City for the rumble at the Borgata! We check in with Aaron and April and it’s going worse than you could ever imagine for the Steel Toe Morning Show. Chad Zumock is flailing around, trying to find his place in the dabbleverse. Why is his show not working? Why is his relationship with Kevin Brennan tenuous at best? Let’s go down memory lane with Chad again to find out whrere it all went wrong. Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips is back, but he isn’t walking while talking. We have an amazing PO Box haul! Sit tight, kids! …

NLO Shows

January 26, 2024: STEEL TOE Struggle Show! DONKEYLIPS Goes Mobile! CRAZY JOE Is Killing It!

January 26, 2024

Happy Friday! We’ve got an extremely awkward moment from Minnesota’s favorite failed radio duo, Aaron and April Imholte. What’s going on with the couple? After opining about a renewed career in terrestrial radio and seeing their support dry up before their very eyes, what’s next for the distraught darlings of the radio dial as they hurl toward poverty? Micheal Ray Bower has figurered out how his legs work and wants you to come on a walk with him. Our old friend Crazy Joe is becoming slowly awakened to the new presence of the onions in is life again, and it’s not going to go well for the cranky old senior citizen. …

NLO Shows

January 12, 2024: Steel Toe Fib-Fest! Catching Up With The UNHINGED! P.O. Box Surprises!

January 12, 2024

Happy Friday to you, wherever and whenever you may be. Yes, whenever. We don’t discriminate against time-travelers here. Michael Ray Bower is just about ready to launch his podcast, and it’s nothing like anything he’s described before. Is this really it? Heather Gillespie is still outside in Chicago fighting injustice and working hard to make sure she has a warm and dry place to squirt her baby out in a few weeks. Crazy Joe has become aware of the onions again, and he isn’t happy about all the attention. We do a quick peek in the P.O. Box to find a package from Flatcar Jessica and more. …

NLO Shows

January 9, 2024: MERSH Says Don’t Worry! Bower Wants His LIFE Back! Aaron Imholte HATES Mornings!

January 9, 2024

Patrick’s here on a Tuesday to stock your stuffings with goofy goo! Hit the like button, you mortals! Sexual pest Corey Adam can’t stop coping on multiple podcasts about his status in both the comedy community and on the internet. Mersh doesn’t like the internet talking about him almost passing out on his stream. But it’s happening more and more, and how could you not be concerned for the Floridian fat man’s constant mini strokes? Michael Ray Bower has some new complaints and excuses about why he hasn’t been walking and or talking. Steel Toe Morning Show is still trying to pretend like they’re a popular growing show, while it’s more than evident that April ha most likely gone back to the work force. …

NLO Shows

December 29, 2023: DONKEYLIPS Says EVERYTHING is PERFECT! Plus: ATLANTIC CITY Showdown?

December 29, 2023

It’s Friday, and rather than continuing our bottomless dive in to the dabble verse, let’s finish the year on some lighter, more fun fool fare. Michael Ray Bower, aka the trumpet tubby from Nickelodeon’s salute your shorts that goes by the name of Donkeylips, has some holiday messages to make even the most depressed saps perk up. Try to pull up the straps of your overalls and get through this with us, ok? It’s been a stressful year, with ups and downs, but right around the corner lies a new beginning and a fresh start. Or tons more of the same over and over again. Who knows what the future holds?
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NLO Shows

December 18, 2023: NOBODY Likes CHAD ZUMOCK! DonkeyLips Can’t Walk! Steel Toe Numbers Are DOWN!

December 18, 2023

Patrick’s schedule is ALL WONKY for the next week or so, and you’ll just have to deal with it. The internet is a fickle mistress, and her shows are not relegated to your temporal bounding boxes, human. The Lou and KY morning show is the shining beacon of the Joey C universe. Lou looks like his teeth got in a fight and had to be seperated. Did we mention he’s dumber than potting soil? Patrick revisits Haley Sacks, a guest from NYC who had a showing so bad, she couldn’t even bear to be in the same room with Patrick ever again. Steel Toe suffers another insane defeat at the offering plate, and April comes down to give Aaron a sloppy consolation kiss before heading off to her night shift at Arby’s. Save some horsey sauce for us, Ape! …

NLO Shows

December 4, 2023: The THACKERING Begins! Planet Goes DIRTY! Donkeylips Has BIG DREAMS!

December 4, 2023

It’s Monday, and it’s the start of a new month, and we couldn’t be happier that you’ve decided to join us here at The Onions. Patrick went to see Adam Sandler over the weekend and aside from having to watch his daughter sing a Taylor Swift cover song for nine minutes while the Sandman wept and played guitar, it was ok. We found out one of our favorite fatties has a dirty clips site and you can download a lot of gore that is sure to turn the bits and bytes on your hard drive rotten in no time. Opie Radio really is a delusional guy. Michael Ray Bower killed a cat in his dream and he thinks it’s something he needs to memorialize from a toilet vlog. Steel Toe is so far ahead of making their goals that you’re going to be sorry. Our favorite dumb financial advisor is back with a new podcast where she interviews other dumb girls about their financial mistakes and we learn nothing. …

NLO Shows

December 1, 2023: Extra NUTS For FRIDAY! Heather G Is About To POP! Ray Still Needs Help!

December 1, 2023

Happy Friday! Patrick is extending November for one more day- at least on paper. What a volatile week it’s been for the whatever this is. Chad Zumock has turned out to be one of the worst actors, liars, and comedians of all time. The LOLs don’t stop when Chad uses his imagination to wow his audience with dumb. Heather Gillispie is finding out about Chicago winter while being pregnant and homeless, and it’s going to go bad. Bower has started his walking tours, and you won’t believe the loophole this time! Josh Denny goes to Florida and doesn’t have time to stop by Publix for a sandwich. Summer Sinclair really wants the part. Why don’t you like her? Ray Devito is moving to his mom’s friends house even those his mom is dead and he’s a fifty-year-old man with absolutely nothing going on in life. Strap in, because the phones don’t work again today! …

NLO Shows

November 28, 2023: Happy Holidays? MAYBE NOT! Back to BASIC!

November 28, 2023

It’s Tuesday morning, and the plebs are frothing in the aisles for a new NLO. What will Patrick be mad about this morning? Will there be a classic rant against one of the fans for some minuscule reason? You can almost guarantee! We check in with some of our favorite nuts to see how they’re gearing up for the holidays. Is the loneliness enough to break some of our favorites, or will the holiday spirit prevail and allow happiness to shine forth? There’s no telling, but we are definitely here to watch it all. Mchael Ray Bower is at his lowest and his blurriest on the latest stream about his health and future plans. Steel Toe is terrified of medical news and has a cool new blackface story to tell you. Chad still has no idea what he is doing and his snipe streams are becoming less and less impressive. If you’re looking for a killer banana pudding recipe and need something to do with your gross boiled eggs. we have a woman with a few tricks up her sleeveless shirt. …

NLO Shows

November 10, 2023 – B-DAY PARTY! Patrick’s FAVORITE Clowns of 2023! P.O. Box Treasures & More!

November 10, 2023

Come celebrate Patrick’s last day of being forty-three years old! We’ve got a lot of boxes and envelopes to sort through. Patrick also has some loose ends to tie up to make the week tidy. You can guarantee there will be some sort of Steel Toe nonsense. Patrick wants to know where Spider Alomar is hiding and why? Where is Mr. Big Shot? Chad Zumock’s roast cope train begins. Michael Ray Bower keeps warning of us of a purge…from his toilet. You won’t believe what filmmaker is working on a new cut of old footage with the laziest new character yet! Who knows what other surprises await! Come join the PARTY, baybeeeee! …

NLO Shows

November 3, 2023 – FAT FORK FRIDAY! Josh Denny, Rodney Wayne, DonkeyLips, Chad Zumock & MORE!

November 3, 2023

Oh, no he didn’t! Patrick is making fun of fat people? What is the world coming to? Does he know he’s fat? Should he be talking like that? We check in on long-time friend of the show Josh Denny to see if his nineteenth podcast is the one that is going to catch fire. Micheal Ray Bower hates NLO and talks about Patrick like he burned his belongings. What can we do about this? Rodney Wayne has been spotted tooling around in his Nissan Altima Batmobile, and we want to know if this is normal behavior for a grown man with kids. Chad Zumock practices being pathetic in more ways than one. Come have a Friday, friends! …