Facebook Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1380: Recalibrate Your Crazy

March 29, 2021

It’s another weekend in Las Vegas, and the streets are sizzling with sweet, sweet comedy drama. In this show, Patrick share some great news from his HOA. He grapples with the prospect of getting the vaccine soon and asks for listener feedback. The show might switch to YouTube for live shows soon, because Twitch is too woke. Patrick has taken to selling graphics cards on eBay during the shortage, and has some unkind words for Craigslist shoppers. Patrick recaps all the history with Butch Bradley, as it’s become a topic of discussion again recently. Two individuals on Facebook have caught Patrick’s eye for their short fuses and inability to self-soothe. Catherine Maloney is mad at men, herself and the world, and want’s everyone to know about it. …

PM in the AM – November 1, 2020

November 13, 2020

It’s the morning after Halloween and Patrick is pissed that he bought a lot of candy for nothing. He’s really getting in to Karen videos and what the kids are calling BASIC now. Patrick is buying a basic house. Patrick has a lot of problems with Twitch and how they do things. Stop getting your friends to help you move. Patrick is getting really jazzed up about his pool project. …

NLO 1362: Know What I Meme

November 9, 2020

Welcome to morning hot talk with the bow boys. Patrick welcomes you to Gum Club and talks about how all the gum comes from like two companies, collectively known as Big Gum. Gum Club is sponsored by Brandie’s Bows and Cheryl’s Barrels. These shows were recorded before the election, so the amount of foreplay in the air between two old men is salty and thick. Jack in the Box is gross, bows and so much more more. …

NLO 1358: Farts and Minds

September 30, 2020

Patrick has just finished up a week of work in Tulsa and sits down with comedian Scott Schaffer to bitch about these kids today. Progressing in to straight-up “get off my lawn” territory, the two discuss the state of comedy and the world by basically bitching about people who can’t stop bitching. Anyone who posts on social media might be absolutely mentally ill, and blocking people is most definitely a sign of narcissistic dementia. …

NLO 1356: For Heaven’s Sake

September 24, 2020

Patrick is excited about the possibility of pivoting to a gamers only podcast. We are proud to announce that we are the only podcast with GeForce RTX graphics. That can’t be, can it? People need to stop worrying about Patrick being poor. It’s all going to work out. We check in on some of the latest insane rants and exclamations from our favorite tinyman, Thai Rivera. Trez Mala watches grass grow. Daddy Derek is nuttier than ever and we have the videos to prove it. …

NLO 1334: Cryptic Shade

July 17, 2020

This show is a brave message to those out there who have to deal with bullying on an everyday basis. Patrick woke up to find himself being told of a lack of approval about a Facebook post he’d made the day before. Las Vegas comedian, or is it comic, Thai Rivera spins out in manic glory over a silly post, resulting in a chain of hilarity and weird pointless hating that can only be classified as virtue signaling horseshit. …