house hunting Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

PM in the AM: Dec 10, 2020

December 30, 2020

Patrick sits down for a morning chat with you, his favorite listeners. Twitch has been sending out some long emails lately, and they are making new policies about content almost daily. Get ready for no jokes and no fun online. Patrick thinks he has been hacked because of a camera glitching and his new networking equipment being setup by a crazed fan named Spiro Bronch. Patrick has been painting and doing projects at the new house, which have been keeping him too busy to hang out with you dorks. …

NLO 1370: Dear David

December 8, 2020

Patrick has been troubled lately. Spirits. Ghouls. Ghosts. Geists. Goblins. A boy has been walking around Patrick’s house, taunting him with hisses in the night and scurrying from room to room. We dive in to Google and find out it could be a boy named David. We check in on Crazy Joe, because it’s been so long since we met a mad man. Patrick bitches about updates with his house. …

NLO 1369: Dranksgiving

November 30, 2020

Patrick gathers all the people from around the internet who want to escape from their families in to one chat room to guilt eat and cry. Patrick is getting close to signing on his new house, and has stories about HOAs for days, but the chat doesn’t seem impressed. Patrick drinking always ends up leading to some really dark ideas. Does anyone wanna do some cool YouTube channel stuff as a prank? …

NLO 1366: Warbly Porker

November 20, 2020

Patrick is balls deep in the house buying process, and the stress is beginning to take it’s toll. He’s intimidated by the prospect of taking on the project of installing a pool in his back yard, and he feels pressured by Big Pool. Costco has a lot to answer for when it comes to how he was treated recently at the optical center. Along with being ignored at the service counter, he’s sick of being stalked like a D-level celebrity by cashiers. …

PM in the AM – November 1, 2020

November 13, 2020

It’s the morning after Halloween and Patrick is pissed that he bought a lot of candy for nothing. He’s really getting in to Karen videos and what the kids are calling BASIC now. Patrick is buying a basic house. Patrick has a lot of problems with Twitch and how they do things. Stop getting your friends to help you move. Patrick is getting really jazzed up about his pool project. …

NLO 1361: A Pools Errand

November 5, 2020

Patrick is kicking off his day with coffee and an apology to Breonna Taylor. Patrick’s latest foray in to trying to buy a house has failed again due to a poor inspection that revealed a million problems. He quickly recovers though, by making another offer on a new house, but not without it’s compromises. He’s decided to go full basic bitch, purchases a magazine-like home stamped out in a planned community. …

NLO 1360: Cooking Without Gas

October 25, 2020

Patrick is back from doing shows on the road and is back to hunting for a house. It’s not been going well, but he has an offer in on a new place that is pretty sweet, but it’s missing that sweet natural gas he craves. Patrick is traumatized by the left and baffled by the right, and he doesn’t even know what’s real anymore. He is officially undecided for the upcoming presidential election, and the media spin isn’t making it any easier. …

NLO 1327: Flat Earth Clues

May 20, 2020

Patrick catches up with his old pal Shooby in this continuation of podcasting remotely. We find out what Shooby has been up to during the coronavirus lockdown in his home of San Fransisco, and reminisce …