Las Vegas comedy Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

Melton in the Morning – April 14, 2023

April 16, 2023

Friday’s were made for scrimpin’, and that’s just what we’ll do. One of these days I swear I’m gonna scrimp all over you! Mooby and The Scrimp are watching videos of Mooby trying to fight with him ham fists, and even better, trying to train other mealy-minded dopes to fight as well. The superchat grift is getting old to a lot of YouTube fans. Stevie Lew might be becoming an Onion, but it’s hard to tell. Patrick won’t just hate Bert Kreischer because you say so. The chat room teaches Patrick what a baleen is. Corey Adams streamed all night to threes of people and then deleted the video before Patrick could show people. Patrick wants to buy ad time on Steel Toe. Chad Zumock calls in. …

Melton in the Morning – April 13, 2023

April 16, 2023

Patrick has upgraded the entire sound chain in the studio, and gotten rid of the line noise and hiss that has slowly developed and mired the show in an unpleasant audio cacophony. But crisp audio and fun time are on the way. Patrick gets schooled on how to improve the show by David Attenborough. Corey Adam cannot stop showing his ass and we are here for it – you won’t believe how odd his new “show” is. Some ex-comic in Tampa named Mersh or Merch (no one can confirm) seems to be harboring a decade-long resentment of Patrick because of an interaction years ago. Patrick rejected Mersh’s insane offering of post-midnight steaks and skanks, and that has scarred his brain forever. …

Melton in the Morning – April 10, 2023

April 16, 2023

Good Mooby Monday! Come have some fun with Patrick and a train of thought that is sure to exclusively lead you on an adventure through your own brain! On today’s show we forget to even turn on Mooby and his little friend, and when we finally do, he’s seven minutes in to yelling about Patrick watching even though he wasn’t. We watch for half an hour today and bail as soon as Mooby moves on to making fun of black people with songs and voices. Patrick showcases some of the wretched Las Vegas comedy community, including Lex Las Vegas who recently did a comedy sketch parody about Mr. Onion, whatever that means. We call a strange man who challenged us to do so, and Patrick gets conned out of a $100 payday. …

NLO 1458: Colonel Slanders

February 17, 2023

Patrick must have gotten a good night’s sleep, because he’s downright cherubic at the outset of this show, complimenting the good nature of people like Big Irish Jay for good deeds gone unnoticed. It makes Jay uncomfortable, but isn’t balance important? Patrick also shines some light on Johnny Brim and AJ Rivera who seem to be running a great show on Friday nights here in Las Vegas. Josh Denny can’t interact with his own chat during live shows. The World Series of Comedy is gearing back up and LA Comedy Club can’t jump fast enough to be a part of this low-tier comedian grift-fest. They’ve dragged their new venue at The OYO casino in to it, where Laugh After Dark will be slumming it for their new residency starting this weekend. …

NLO 1453: Headliners & Hoodwinks

January 25, 2023

The Las Vegas comedy scene is unique. Whether it’s the tendency of shows to be shorter, allowing comedians with less material to “move up” before they’re ready, or the mystique of being on stages meters away from icons and superstars, there is a level of delusion and flippant disrespect for both the art form and the process by which one becomes great. Patrick recently attended a night of programming at Jimmy Kimmel’s Comedy Club programmed by Adam Dominguez that was not only insanely disappointing, but indicative of several larger issues in this city. Every comedian who does fifteen minutes in a strip mall bar in Las Vegas thinks they are a headliner and have a fan base. Ever confused dummy with a day job is convinced they’re a viral video superstar …

NLO 1448: Lax Las Vegas

January 11, 2023

Patrick gets an anonymous angry email regarding several people on the Las Vegas comedy scene! We have so many new rabbit holes to go down! We talk about comedian David Lee aka Kitty Pineapple and try to figure out what’s going on with that situation. Lex Las Vegas loves everyone in town, but we aren’t sure that’s a great thing. A pregnant open mic comic named Caitlyn Daisy B is being roasted in a smoky bar, because she’s an absolute killer comic and a legend on the Vegas scene. Jkjk it’s a garbage fire that won’t light because it’s soaked in amniotic fluid. Skippy Sprinkles is not good or funny, and it’s getting sad. Honesty is dead amongst comedians. …

Aftershow 1435: Ghost Hunting

October 10, 2022

Casper the Comic might be more insidious than we originally realized. Regardless of his intentions, the overconfidence embodied by this dude is beyond cringe. We dive in to Casper and start to also explore a new potential curiosity named Amaru out of Lansing, Michigan. Agent O has submitted quite a few new case studies to our little museum of oddities, and we plan to get to them all. Be patient while Patrick meanders the mazes of mystery laid before us. Everything in due time. ow drink your medicine and say your prayers. Night falls soon. …

NLO 1435: A Night of Apologies

October 10, 2022

Patrick is fresh off his appearance on the Laugh After Dark podcast and he’s going to spill all the dirt. Our chat room members are all hiding something. Patrick has a big announcement about the Overdose to kick off the night on the right foot. There’s a word of warning for people thinking about home invading Patrick in the future. Johnny Brim spent his Monday trying to find enough signal out at Hoover Dam to post multiple cope fits about the recent show that covered his roast with Casper. There’s been a giant misunderstanding and tonight we get to the bottom of it. Johnny Brim shows up in the chat and the boys bury the hatchet like gentlemen of means. Casper the Comic might be more insidious than we originally realized. …

garbage.mp4 nvm (delete)

August 4, 2022

Patrick and a cast of kangaroo pals explore the Australian outback together in an old jeep. Trouble is right around the corner when the gang encounters a dingo in the bush! Patrick enjoys a chill Thursday watching some of the best of Las Vegas doing their thing. We check in with the Ocha Bar open mic, but it’s not going great. The “feature” comic can’t stop pacing all over the room and screaming. The internet saves us all and cuts out several times. Patrick tries to learn how to talk to legit Mexicans. We check in on the state of modern Zoom comedy and try to figure out what the attraction is. Patrick does a lot of impressions that probably aren’t very woke and may end up getting him cancelled. …

BONUS – Vegas Comedy Monsters!

March 18, 2022

Catching up with some local Las Vegas comedy drama – this city gets weirder and weirder. Thai Rivera check-in and watch of his latest garbage fire content. Bring a juice, bring a wine, have a snack, have a time. In this episode we dive in to some of Thai’s favorite Vegas comedians to see just what then have that makes them so promising. We also explore comedy wingnut Gretchen Boshart to study what a train wreck attempt at a comedy career looks like. Put on your biker jacket and stain your teeth – she’s a keeper! We’re here for the lolcows, we stay for the friendships. I think I’m having a stroke. …

SPECIAL EVENT: Bubbles in Vegas!

January 12, 2022

What is happening in Las Vegas comedy? While most of the community is positive and encouraging, a few bad apples keep spoiling the bunch. Who is responsible for all the Vegas comedy drama? What rumors are true? Is Trouble racist, homophobic and toxic? Is Diaz Mackie fucking up? And more importantly, is Thai Rivera the comedy tumor that, if carved out, would result in a flourishing comedy community? Let’s check out the latest rants by all of them and see if we can make sense of anything anymore. It’s all in good fun, except the mental illnesses. We ROASTIN’ mofos over here! Bring a body bag! Preview is free for everyone! Full show for OD members only! …

NLO 1397: For The Greater Good

August 18, 2021

Patrick can’t seem to get it together. He’s got things to rant about. He has opinions on things from an old friend’s newest podcast to some racist job ads he saw recently. He wants to brag about things like learning how to make onion rings from Bobby Flay and getting his swim spa early. Everything devolves quickly into an argument about personal freedoms and vaccine mandates by government and businesses. And of course, the DRAMA. The Las Vegas comedy scene is bananas right now. We have a flamboyant delusional never-was who thinks he just filmed a “special”, a cleaned-up club promoter named “Trouble” who’s trying to fight everyone for some reason, another comedian who got hit in the face this weekend, exclusive access to a pilot Thai Rivera tried to write a few years back, and so much more! …

NLO 1394: Gossip Brunch

July 20, 2021

Patrick sits down on a Sunday to have a little hang with you, the loyal listener. Patrick gabs with the chat a bit, as there’s quite a bit going on that’s grinding his gears. Patrick is sipping on Starbucks coffee, which he had delivered. He’s aware that this is the epitome of white girl privilege, but that’s how he rolls. Brad is sick, and has cost a fortune in emergency vet bills. Her digestion isn’t running smoothly, and Patrick is worried about his white tiles and grout standing up to doggie brownie batter. Patrick is thinking about possibly attacking his swim spa salesman, who has misled and pressured him with sleazy sales tactics and is now saying it will be 9 more months before Patrick will be swimming. And of course, there’s more Thai Rivera updates than you could possibly want. We are tired of this little garbage fire, too. …

The KRINGE of Las Vegas

June 21, 2021

OOO GRRL! So many juice boxes to sip in this show! Thai Rivera’s world is collapsing around him. His less-experienced partner has backed out of his new residency show (wise choice), his financing is in jeopardy, he is rethinking the whole show concept and searching for new variety performers, and he admits it’s stressful and not ideal. Oh, also, he wants you to buy tickets for this poorly-executed garbage fire. The show has learned that the venueWe call the Thunderbird Hotel and Casino, and nobody seems to even know about Thai’s show, how to buy tickets, or that it’s even happening in a week. A woman at Chanclas Cantina thinks Patrick is Thai on the phone! We find out that Thai is still trying to get comics in trouble behind the scenes. …