Las Vegas Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1390: Pawn Protocol

June 9, 2021

Chef is back to check on the show he helped grow so many years ago, and his curmudgeonly attitude is still oozing from his pores. Patrick and Chef walk down podcast memory lane a little, and discuss why Patrick is still doing this. Chef is in the babyproofing business and Patrick wants some tips for his dog. Patrick is still losing at poker all these years later. Chef’s Florida neighbor is squirreling away money from his wife. Patrick is confused by whatever bone induction headphones are and why they need to be worn all day. The guys muse about the convenience of having a podcast stenographer. Patrick shares with Chef the origins of Rick’s and how Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars has let his fame go to his head. Patrick argues with Chef about the true meaning of being a father, and Chef shares a new service he’s been using. …

BONUS: Thai Claps Back!

April 7, 2021

Patrick listens live to the latest collection of clipped together sass Thai calls a podcast to see what’s new in the comedy world. Or in Thai’s little corner of it. After Thai’s long week of burning bridge after bridge, Thai goes in on even more comedians, bookers, and friends. He wrestles with the idea that he has a mental illness, and later in the show begins messaging Patrick DURING THE SHOW begging him to take down the videos and asking what needs to happen to make all this analysis cease. In this special show, we listen to Thai’s latest beefs, excuses, lies and even rebuttals to Patrick’s overwhelming and constantly accumulating pile of evidence. …

NLO 1378: Ban Basil

March 17, 2021

Patrick begins the show with anger about a pizza he ordered that got delivered with a bushel of basil, and he’s not really a basil man. But seriously, take a bite out of this hot gardening talk. There’s drama brewing in the comedy community, and while Patrick is refusing to say much, he also says quite a bit. He just wishes people would understand he’s a fair man. Josh Denny is doing the podcast rounds recently, and speaking of round, check out those cheeks! Josh says he is going back on tour, but we didn’t knew he was ever on tour. Also, this new tour seems to consist of one show in rural Pennsylvania bar. Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, is dead now, but the dream of owning his home could live on, if you like dumps in the middle of nowhere. …

NLO 1372: Bitch Made Vegas

January 6, 2021

Patrick has taken a poll on instagram about Las Vegas comedians, and he’s been getting some strange messages. How deep do the secrets of the Las Vegas comedy scene go? Will we ever know? Are some good guys being accused of being bad guys, and vice versa? Will Matt Markman ever sell enough of his CD’s to stop posting photoshopped promos for it? We don’t answer many of these questions, but we have fun tiredly speculating endlessly. …

NLO 1346: Bad3

August 18, 2020

The gay giving tree that is Thai Rivera has birthed us a new comedian jester to keep our eyes on, Trez Mala. Patrick took years of Spanish in high school. so he’s pretty sure that means “bad three.” Or something close. In the first installment of two, we listen to Trez talk about himself and his comedy roots and philosophy on some other gas weasel’s podcast. If you’ve never heard of the MoonBug Glip Glop podcast, strap in …

NLO 1338: Lessons From Lane

July 31, 2020

This show should have been so much longer, but the alt-right libtards and their vicious team of tea party Q-Anon antifa activists have prevented it. On this show we talk about an old-school fan named Lane, and how he thinks Patrick is a cuck for being scared of a virus. Patrick tries to not seems crazy, but things play out a little differently. We review some videos of the public losing their mind, and try to explore any deeper meaning. …

Aftershow 1334 – Padding Thai

July 17, 2020

Everyone’s favorite proud boy, Steve Curran, calls in to talk about what big fans we are becoming of Thai Rivera and his manic brand of sassy comedy. We watch him on some election show from years ago, and dip in to a couple other videos and aspects of this man’s bizarre obsession with “letting them know.” The chat is lit, the laughs are flowing, and we don’t see a reason not to kick back for some more Vegas comedy classics. …

NLO 1334: Cryptic Shade

July 17, 2020

This show is a brave message to those out there who have to deal with bullying on an everyday basis. Patrick woke up to find himself being told of a lack of approval about a Facebook post he’d made the day before. Las Vegas comedian, or is it comic, Thai Rivera spins out in manic glory over a silly post, resulting in a chain of hilarity and weird pointless hating that can only be classified as virtue signaling horseshit. …

Rick’s Board Meeting – Q1 2020

June 29, 2020

Rick believes in transparency in all of his business dealings, and that’s why we make these meetings public. Find out what’s going on at Rick’s since the pandemic, as well as some other juicy gossip… …

NLO 1329: Pizza Stoned

June 25, 2020

Roy Johnson checks in from Tulsa to take us on another Uber Eats adventure, and this time we are having Outback Steakhouse. G’day, dopes! Patrick doesn’t really know what to think of anything anymore, much less the latest round of MeToo-ings going around. …