Michael ray bower

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MEMBERS ONLY! Patrick Is DONE! Come Mourn The Good Times!

December 6, 2024

In the quiet, there’s a place—Xylith’s Veil. A place where echoes twist into something else. Listen carefully. Sounds come, but they don’t leave. The walls bend, whispers grow teeth, and your shadow might start to follow you. The hours flicker strangely, like paper burning from the edges. Vernix once found the stillness there, but he’s not the same now. Will you be? Don’t ask. Don’t search for answers. Just listen. And when you hear it, don’t say its name. …

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Members Only – November 23, 2024

November 23, 2024

Were you forced to spend Friday night and all day Saturday with you friends and family, rather than hanging in a chat of debaucherous nerds talking about everything from Push Pops to Pinwheels! Come on down and have fun with Patrick and the gang! Pull up a thong and light up a SONG! Okay? …

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MEMZ CLUB! Are you a MEMZ?

October 18, 2024

Times are tough all over! Grab your favorite bottle of scotch and saddle up to the NLO saloon for some high times and high tea! We’re diving into the wild wacky world of recklessness! Who’s in? Call your dad because it’s gonna be a late one! What does that mean? …

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RUN, PIGGY, RUN! A Chad Zumock Experience

October 8, 2024

Chad Zumock stole sandwiches from Whole Foods. Chad Zumock stole credit cards from Veterans. Chad Zumock broke in to his ex-girlfriend’s house in the middle of the night. Chad Zumock fell asleep and drove in to a tree at 3am. Chad Zumock faked getting jumped for YouTube clicks. Chad Zumock bought Twitter followers. Chad Zumock told a depressed coworker to end herself. Chad Zumock is afraid of people making fun of his videos. Chad Zumock sticks up for himself with fake social media accounts. Chad Zumock is banned from comedy clubs for being a nuisance. …

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FRIDAY NIGHT LIVE!

September 28, 2024

Get stroked about it, querms! Patrick is back after a week of insane breakdowns and lots of build up, but the dentist could be handling that for him this weekend, if you know what I mean! I don’t know why I said that. It’s not coded. I have a dentist appointment. I also just switched to first person. It’s just me. I’m so alone. Come drink with me on this Friday of L’s I’ve been stacking up lately! …

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MEMBERS ONLY LATE NIGHT HANG!

September 21, 2024

Come join Patrick and a cast of imaginary friends as they set sail for whimsy aboard the USS Rainbow. Will they ever find the magic starfish medallion? Can they rescue the mermaid from the pirates before her time runs out? Ask the gamekeepers, man! We are here to chill about it! …

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MEMBERS ONLY: DonkeyLips LIVE! Mersh Is Messing Up More! Aaron Imholte Is OUT OF IDEAS!

September 13, 2024

Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips is in Pennsylvania and doing a media tour for a nostalgic Nickelodeon convention he is signing pictures at this weekend. It’s a different Bower than we’ve recently seen at home depressed. Mersh is a character and we can’t stop watching him dream of success while wasting all his money gambling on women’s tennis.Aaron Imholte has given up and knows it won’t be long before he’s selling cars or hot dogs downtown. You won’t believe the laziness! …

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MEMBERS ONLY! Kevin Brennan Can’t Snipe! Bower Carb Loads! Steel Toe Sad Show! CRAZY JOE Is Back!

August 2, 2024

Patrick is here to get your goose! On this silly Friday show, Patrick finds out Kevin Brennan, an old man who used to wander on to the set at Saturday Night Live while they were filming, is sniping his program. Saturday Night Live was a show that was funny in the 1980’s and 1990’s. Anyway, because Kevin is slow and sunsetting, he thinks Patrick is very late when in reality Patrick plays music for a long time before the show every Friday night. Patrick makes the old man question his tech prowess witha a great cold open GOT EM! Steel Toe is more pathetic than ever. Michael Ray Bower wastes a bunch of money on vegetables. Crazy Joe is stating to lose it again and the onions arent’ helping. …

NLO Shows

July 30, 2024: BUSTIN’ Makes Me Feel Good! Mersh Gets SOUR! Donkeylips Depression Continues!

July 30, 2024

Another day closer to making our nut, Patrick is back to regale you with stories from far and wide. It’s training Tuesday and if there’s time we are going to need to see everyone in the break room for some serious educational edification. Mersh continues to bash Rumble, his once source of constant income for the past few years, cementing his permanent poor status in history. We watch an entitled woman try to use her stable of men and her influencer gig to pay for a pizza before getting her cuddle cave searched for a knife. And if there’s time I’m sure Aaron Imholte is up to some lies or something, trying once again to distract from his domestic abuse allegations. …

NLO Shows

July 24, 2024: KiKi Strike Back! Michael Ray Bower LOCKS IT DOWN! Did Aaron Imholte BEAT His Wife?

July 24, 2024

It’s Wednesday night, but Patrick can’t get weird with you this Friday so we have to do it tonight! Come gather around your whatever and feel a little what have you! Come get grounded in the energy that is Melton and whatever he wants to talk about tonight. Don’t force it. Let’s feel it and ride the wave. Like an Ouija board, the spirits will be guiding our session tonight. Who wants to come be a part of the action with Patrick, a spare goat, and some old denim he found on a train? Don’t ask, bro! …