It's Friday and it's Christmas and you'll never take this away from us! Come join us as we celebrate Chad and everything he has brought to this winter wonderland! Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
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I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone - if possible - Jew, Gentile - black man - white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness - not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.
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In the quiet, there’s a place—Xylith’s Veil. A place where echoes twist into something else. Listen carefully. Sounds come, but they don’t leave. The walls bend, whispers grow teeth, and your shadow might start to follow you. The hours flicker strangely, like paper burning from the edges. Vernix once found the stillness there, but he’s not the same now. Will you be? Don’t ask. Don’t search for answers. Just listen. And when you hear it, don’t say its name.
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In the quiet, there’s a place—Xylith’s Veil. A place where echoes twist into something else. Listen carefully. Sounds come, but they don’t leave. The walls bend, whispers grow teeth, and your shadow might start to follow you. The hours flicker strangely, like paper burning from the edges. Vernix once found the stillness there, but he’s not the same now. Will you be? Don’t ask. Don’t search for answers. Just listen. And when you hear it, don’t say its name.
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Come on, people, now. Smile on your brother. Everybody get together. Try to love one another, right now.
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Were you forced to spend Friday night and all day Saturday with you friends and family, rather than hanging in a chat of debaucherous nerds talking about everything from Push Pops to Pinwheels! Come on down and have fun with Patrick and the gang! Pull up a thong and light up a SONG! Okay?
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Patrick bet everything he had on the big fight an it's weighing on his conscience. Can we talk about something funny for once? Will you please stop bringing everyone down about it? This is the worst.
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Patrick pretends to be drunk for almost two hours to show how desperate the people who hate Nick are to believe their own narratives. Please don't comment about how bad this is. Everyone knows. It's on purpose.
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Should we all get together and talk about what happened today? We'd love to have you over at Onion Ranch. Pull up a bucket and let me tell you what we have learned about Aaron Imholte today, and then we can move on to something a little more FUN!
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It's the day after ween, and all through them street, you can gather up candy, and gobble them sweets. Join Patrick and his maritime friends for a romp in the seas and a a helluva good time! I gotta have AI start writing these things!
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Times are tough all over! Grab your favorite bottle of scotch and saddle up to the NLO saloon for some high times and high tea! We're diving into the wild wacky world of recklessness! Who's in? Call your dad because it's gonna be a late one! What does that mean?
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Patrick does a Members Only show discussing some of our favorites, including Simply Sara and Royce Miller eating some ungodly items, as well as a check in with Aaron Imholte of the Steel Toe Morning Show.
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Chad Zumock stole sandwiches from Whole Foods. Chad Zumock stole credit cards from Veterans. Chad Zumock broke in to his ex-girlfriend's house in the middle of the night. Chad Zumock fell asleep and drove in to a tree at 3am. Chad Zumock faked getting jumped for YouTube clicks. Chad Zumock bought Twitter followers. Chad Zumock told a depressed coworker to end herself. Chad Zumock is afraid of people making fun of his videos. Chad Zumock sticks up for himself with fake social media accounts. Chad Zumock is banned from comedy clubs for being a nuisance.
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Enjoy this special overtime bonus!
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Come on baby, light my fire. Come on daddy, fill my tire. Come on Jerry you're a liar. Most birds are classified as flyers. Let's go hang in the shire. Things are looking pretty dire.
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Get stroked about it, querms! Patrick is back after a week of insane breakdowns and lots of build up, but the dentist could be handling that for him this weekend, if you know what I mean! I don't know why I said that. It's not coded. I have a dentist appointment. I also just switched to first person. It's just me. I'm so alone. Come drink with me on this Friday of L's I've been stacking up lately!
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Come join Patrick and a cast of imaginary friends as they set sail for whimsy aboard the USS Rainbow. Will they ever find the magic starfish medallion? Can they rescue the mermaid from the pirates before her time runs out? Ask the gamekeepers, man! We are here to chill about it!
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Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips is in Pennsylvania and doing a media tour for a nostalgic Nickelodeon convention he is signing pictures at this weekend. It's a different Bower than we've recently seen at home depressed. Mersh is a character and we can't stop watching him dream of success while wasting all his money gambling on women's tennis.Aaron Imholte has given up and knows it won't be long before he's selling cars or hot dogs downtown. You won't believe the laziness!
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