Were you forced to spend Friday night and all day Saturday with you friends and family, rather than hanging in a chat of debaucherous nerds talking about everything from Push Pops to Pinwheels! Come on down and have fun with Patrick and the gang! Pull up a thong and light up a SONG! Okay?
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Patrick bet everything he had on the big fight an it's weighing on his conscience. Can we talk about something funny for once? Will you please stop bringing everyone down about it? This is the worst.
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Patrick pretends to be drunk for almost two hours to show how desperate the people who hate Nick are to believe their own narratives. Please don't comment about how bad this is. Everyone knows. It's on purpose.
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Should we all get together and talk about what happened today? We'd love to have you over at Onion Ranch. Pull up a bucket and let me tell you what we have learned about Aaron Imholte today, and then we can move on to something a little more FUN!
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It's the day after ween, and all through them street, you can gather up candy, and gobble them sweets. Join Patrick and his maritime friends for a romp in the seas and a a helluva good time! I gotta have AI start writing these things!
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Times are tough all over! Grab your favorite bottle of scotch and saddle up to the NLO saloon for some high times and high tea! We're diving into the wild wacky world of recklessness! Who's in? Call your dad because it's gonna be a late one! What does that mean?
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Patrick does a Members Only show discussing some of our favorites, including Simply Sara and Royce Miller eating some ungodly items, as well as a check in with Aaron Imholte of the Steel Toe Morning Show.
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Chad Zumock stole sandwiches from Whole Foods. Chad Zumock stole credit cards from Veterans. Chad Zumock broke in to his ex-girlfriend's house in the middle of the night. Chad Zumock fell asleep and drove in to a tree at 3am. Chad Zumock faked getting jumped for YouTube clicks. Chad Zumock bought Twitter followers. Chad Zumock told a depressed coworker to end herself. Chad Zumock is afraid of people making fun of his videos. Chad Zumock sticks up for himself with fake social media accounts. Chad Zumock is banned from comedy clubs for being a nuisance.
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Enjoy this special overtime bonus!
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Come on baby, light my fire. Come on daddy, fill my tire. Come on Jerry you're a liar. Most birds are classified as flyers. Let's go hang in the shire. Things are looking pretty dire.
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Get stroked about it, querms! Patrick is back after a week of insane breakdowns and lots of build up, but the dentist could be handling that for him this weekend, if you know what I mean! I don't know why I said that. It's not coded. I have a dentist appointment. I also just switched to first person. It's just me. I'm so alone. Come drink with me on this Friday of L's I've been stacking up lately!
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Come join Patrick and a cast of imaginary friends as they set sail for whimsy aboard the USS Rainbow. Will they ever find the magic starfish medallion? Can they rescue the mermaid from the pirates before her time runs out? Ask the gamekeepers, man! We are here to chill about it!
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Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips is in Pennsylvania and doing a media tour for a nostalgic Nickelodeon convention he is signing pictures at this weekend. It's a different Bower than we've recently seen at home depressed. Mersh is a character and we can't stop watching him dream of success while wasting all his money gambling on women's tennis.Aaron Imholte has given up and knows it won't be long before he's selling cars or hot dogs downtown. You won't believe the laziness!
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Patrick is here to get your goose! On this silly Friday show, Patrick finds out Kevin Brennan, an old man who used to wander on to the set at Saturday Night Live while they were filming, is sniping his program. Saturday Night Live was a show that was funny in the 1980's and 1990's. Anyway, because Kevin is slow and sunsetting, he thinks Patrick is very late when in reality Patrick plays music for a long time before the show every Friday night. Patrick makes the old man question his tech prowess witha a great cold open GOT EM! Steel Toe is more pathetic than ever. Michael Ray Bower wastes a bunch of money on vegetables. Crazy Joe is stating to lose it again and the onions arent' helping.
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Another day closer to making our nut, Patrick is back to regale you with stories from far and wide. It’s training Tuesday and if there’s time we are going to need to see everyone in the break room for some serious educational edification. Mersh continues to bash Rumble, his once source of constant income for the past few years, cementing his permanent poor status in history. We watch an entitled woman try to use her stable of men and her influencer gig to pay for a pizza before getting her cuddle cave searched for a knife. And if there’s time I’m sure Aaron Imholte is up to some lies or something, trying once again to distract from his domestic abuse allegations. …
It’s Wednesday night, but Patrick can’t get weird with you this Friday so we have to do it tonight! Come gather around your whatever and feel a little what have you! Come get grounded in the energy that is Melton and whatever he wants to talk about tonight. Don’t force it. Let’s feel it and ride the wave. Like an Ouija board, the spirits will be guiding our session tonight. Who wants to come be a part of the action with Patrick, a spare goat, and some old denim he found on a train? Don’t ask, bro! …
Members only show. Michael Ray Bower makes wings and excuses. Keanu C Thompson dishes on Aaron Imholte and reveals new details.
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Aaron Imholte hid from the internet last week hiding from the internet, after court documents alleging his abuse of his ex-wife have leaked to the internet. Aaron has spent months digging in to the personal life of his former wife and polycule partners, drooling over salacious details of court documents and releasing his own anecdotes about his personal life. After spilling dirt on everyone around him, he wants the Internet to go easy on him and stop mentioning his domestic violence and assault allegations. Will it work? Most likely not. Donkey Lips aka Michael Ray Bower has some very cool carne asada wings he wants to teach us how to make. It’s a Wawa Summer and we have some more Summer music for you to rock out to. …
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