po box Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

May 10, 2024: Steel Toe Morning Show Lives In GASLIGHT CITY! PO Box Friday and More Fun!

May 19, 2024

It’s Friday and it’s been another banger of a week in the Steel Toe universe. Watching Aaron Imholte slowly come to terms with his life partner rejecting his savior-syndrome insanity. April Imholte is wandering the streets with a resume featuring nothing but some valve-painting experience and a giant gap of employment. Perhaps the rehab completion certificate will garner her some sympathy. Jesse PS is apparently very upset at Patrick and trying to inflict some kind of wrath by manufacturing some version of the truth that works for him. Mersh removes a show from Rumble after an embarrassing night of streaming and proclamations about designing some long-game masterplan to teach Aaron a lesson, when is reality it was nothing but an emotional response to Podawful clowning one of his main allies. …

February 8, 2024: CHAD ZUMOCK’S Delusion Spiral! IMHOLTE Divorce Watch! Bower Has NEW Excuses?

February 8, 2024

It’s Thursday, but it might as well be Friday! After today’s show, Patrick is packing up and heading to the airport to head to Atlantic City for the rumble at the Borgata! We check in with Aaron and April and it’s going worse than you could ever imagine for the Steel Toe Morning Show. Chad Zumock is flailing around, trying to find his place in the dabbleverse. Why is his show not working? Why is his relationship with Kevin Brennan tenuous at best? Let’s go down memory lane with Chad again to find out whrere it all went wrong. Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips is back, but he isn’t walking while talking. We have an amazing PO Box haul! Sit tight, kids! …

January 12, 2024: Steel Toe Fib-Fest! Catching Up With The UNHINGED! P.O. Box Surprises!

January 12, 2024

Happy Friday to you, wherever and whenever you may be. Yes, whenever. We don’t discriminate against time-travelers here. Michael Ray Bower is just about ready to launch his podcast, and it’s nothing like anything he’s described before. Is this really it? Heather Gillespie is still outside in Chicago fighting injustice and working hard to make sure she has a warm and dry place to squirt her baby out in a few weeks. Crazy Joe has become aware of the onions again, and he isn’t happy about all the attention. We do a quick peek in the P.O. Box to find a package from Flatcar Jessica and more. …

December 15, 2023 PART 1: KEVIN BRENNAN is MEAN! I’ll RUIN Your Life OLD MAN! Jkjk PO Box Friday!

December 15, 2023

It’s’ Friday, and while there may be a peace settling over the Joey C and Melton feud, Kevin Brennan seems wound up about something else. Patrick woke up to a text calling him a pathetic piece of poo, but your guess is as good as anyone’s as to what it’s about. It seems like Kevin likes to be the guy investigating and asking questions, but he cannot handle the heat when it’s thrown back on him. How much of this show will be about Kevin Brennan? It’s hard to say. Friday’s are loose around here. just like every other day of the week. We’ve got a PO Box update and maybe some more from your favorites. Who knows what Friday has to offer? Don’t miss it! …

November 10, 2023 – B-DAY PARTY! Patrick’s FAVORITE Clowns of 2023! P.O. Box Treasures & More!

November 10, 2023

Come celebrate Patrick’s last day of being forty-three years old! We’ve got a lot of boxes and envelopes to sort through. Patrick also has some loose ends to tie up to make the week tidy. You can guarantee there will be some sort of Steel Toe nonsense. Patrick wants to know where Spider Alomar is hiding and why? Where is Mr. Big Shot? Chad Zumock’s roast cope train begins. Michael Ray Bower keeps warning of us of a purge…from his toilet. You won’t believe what filmmaker is working on a new cut of old footage with the laziest new character yet! Who knows what other surprises await! Come join the PARTY, baybeeeee! …

October 13, 2023 – SCARY! Friday the 13th, Chad Is CHOKING, P.O. Box Treasures

October 13, 2023

Hello, fellow humans and others in their midst! It’s Friday, and we’ve got some many misfits to study in our hopper today. Chad Zumock is quickly undoing his entire persona – OGAIN – to get back in the graces of his papa Kevin. What is Kevin doing? We watch some of Chad’s most embarrassing recent videos and breakdown his confidence for the world to see. Joey C and his family are a complete nightmare. Wait until you hear about Chrissy and Tracie, and some other degenerates branching out from this family tree. We have a Stabby C mugshot to comb over! It’s Friday the 13th, and our PO Box has some packages that might need the hazmat unit to stop the entire studio from being cursed. …

September 18, 2023 – Steel Toe Blames EVERYONE ELSE! Ray’s Regressions, PO Box & More!

September 18, 2023

It’s been awhile since we checked in on everyone’s favorite Minnesota morning morons, Aaron Imholte and his slave wife April. With declining numbers, and the goal getting further and further out of reach every day, Let’s catch up on some of Mooby’s latest lies and find some career options for that dolt of a wife of his before it’s too late! Patrick opens the PO box packages that were meant to be opened on Friday. There may need to be a hazmat team on hand for this unboxing. We discuss Ray’s trip to Detroit and break down the disastrous MLC that unfolded on Saturday night with Pat Dixon. Plus plenty of yelling about other things, probably! Come join the fun! …

NLO LIVE: Tape Torching! PO Box Carnage, Summer Songs (July 14, 2023)

July 16, 2023

Happy Friday! We’ve got some songs of the Summer to serenade your cerebellum! Could there be a new contender for the NLO convenience store banger of the year? Join the pillaging of the PO Box and find the biggest haul yet. And finally, an unboxing of epic proportions that only happens once in a generation! Micheal Ray Bower’s auctioned video tape of the film The Willies has made its way to Patrick’s posession, and as promised, today is a reckoning. Join us around the Donkeylips-fueled flame as we burn a boy’s dreams just for the allure of the lols! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 18, 2023)

May 18, 2023

It’s a tumultuous Friday here at the Onion, and Patrick brought the stamina to endure. The chat is arguing and working Patrick up in to a frenzy today, with strong feelings about Chad Zumock, Kevin Brennan, Ray Devito, Bob Levy, Shuli Egar and more. Why does everyone hate Chad so much? Why does everyone pile on to Shuli? Is anyone even redeemable anymore? The constant polarization of popularity is hurting the Dabbleverse. Bryan Johnson (Tell Em Steve Dave) calls in to clarify some details about his appearance yesterday and the history of his relationship with Bob and Shuli. We watch an interview with CORNdiff and Chad Zumock. Steel Toe continues embarrassing themselves by begging fans to buy their overpriced and under-researched coffee. …

po box