Shuli network Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

October 4, 2023 – BONUS! Shuli Shop Accusations! Ray Is TRULY LOST! Joey C Lives Above a Strip Mall!

October 4, 2023

A customer from the Shuli Network shop makes some heavy allegations against Patrick. Patrick doesn’t know who these nuts are, but they seem to be interested in some guy names Brent and his wife doing naughty things with animals. Patrick apologizes for being a sperg. Ray Devito still doesn’t know anything about anything, and Patrick has had about enough. Can we find a guy who can get rid of another guy, please? Joey C is in the chat and is losing his mind as usual. We find out he lives above an abandoned discount food store and a hair supply store, and it’s pretty embarrassing stuff. …

September 28, 2023 – The Show You ALL Deserve!

September 28, 2023

As the sun rises over Las Vegas and Patrick ascends his podcasting throne, an unsettling mood descends on the land. On an R-Tard Thursday like this, we should be focusing on those around us that make us laugh with their ineptitude and frustrate us with their stubborn and unchanging ways. But here we are. Here we go. We’re doing it. We are fucking doing it. …

BONUS! Liar Liar Shows On FIRE!

September 26, 2023

What a day, what a way! Let’s have a drink and discuss opportunities for growth and improvement. We all need to take a deep breath and figure out what’s real, what’s spin, who’s out and who’s in. Is Rob Saul full of complete poo? Is Chris Ables obfuscating the truth to protect his ego? How much of what’s going on is being cosigned by Shuli, his producers, or others on the network? With all the rumors and misinformation swirling, we could all benefit from laying it all out in the open and just seeing what’s what! …

September 26, 2023 – Rob Saul Fires Allegations, Chris ENABLES, Shuli LIES About Patrick Live!

September 26, 2023

There’s some static in the air, and Patrick wants to be the dryer sheet that relieves you of all that tension. Comedian and dog-semen-extractor Rob Saul has gone public with some gossip, appearing on Misery Loves Company with Kevin Brennan on Monday afternoon. According to Rob, the Shuli Network, Bob Levi, and Chris Ables are all purchasing views for their videos, and claims to have receipts. Who is lying and why? Who is Steven Springer? What is “marketing?” Kevin Brennan is still being retarded, and it has to be a work. Aaron Imholte let his seat be filled by Keanu on Monday night. What lows will Aaron and April stoop to next on the Steel Toe Desperation Show? This show gets derailed by the accusations against the Shuli network, and intensifies when Shuli begins lying about Patrick live on The BS Show for some reason. …

September 14, 2023 – INSANE Gun Safety Video, Replay It Again, MAN!

September 14, 2023

When will this week be over! Jkjkjk we are having a good time over here. Patrick can prove it by ranting about a bunch of stupid things right off the top! Ray DeVito is having some kind of breakdown. Have you caught the new show sweeping the Shuli Network! Patrick has got a drinking game that you can play at home. Climb aboard a magical moon ship to the far away land of Derek Savage, and dare to learn the seductive art of gun safety from a man who looks like he has several types of whiskey radiating from his mouth and/or body at all times. But at least there’s ALMOST no Cool Cat in this project. …

NLO LIVE: BOB LEVY Calls In, Chad Can’t Stop Watching, Drunk on Cringe is BACK! (August 11, 2023)

August 11, 2023

Happy Friday, finicky friends! Kevin Brennan calls out Bob for allowing himself to be played a manipulated by Shuli over the recent acquisition of Chad Zumock by the nework. Is Shuli playing everyone? Is he afraid of Chad? We talk and get to the bottom of it. Bob Levy calls in to explain and also talk a little bit about Chad Zumock and the upcoming Atlantic City meetup. Alex Stein gets a taste of Kevin Brennan’s wrath. Ray DeVito is podcasting with his new German shirt overload, Drunk on Cringe, and it goes about as well as you can imagine. Chad Zumock can’t stop watching NLO and calls in over and over and over to try and control what little part of the narrative he is still a character in. …

NLO LIVE: Ray Has Gone CORPORATE! A Rustic Review, International CRINGE! (July 27, 2023)

July 27, 2023

It’s Thursday, and that means you’re probably going to make it to the weekend, you lucky duck! Patrick has received an insane request from Ray regarding his new merch. Ray continues to perpetuate the myth that he’s a superior jokesmith while simultaneously hurling the lazy insult “fatty Patty” repeatedly. Atlantic City is heating up and someone is definitely going to get hurt. Drunk on Cringe is way worse than we could have ever thought. Patrick reviews Rustic Cuts latest chunk of cow to make it to his plate. …

NLO LIVE: Shuli’s Crooked Cult, Ray Rejects Reality, 24 Hours of Melton? (July 18, 2023)

July 18, 2023

Patrick kicks of the show meltdown style yelling and screaming about whatever his perception of reality is and why everyone else is probably broken and wrong. Ray has some anger for Patrick and his latest prank promotion. Everyone is sending packages to the Comedy Cellar in NYC to inconvenience and perturb Ray Devito. What will this mean for Patrick’s booming standup comedy career. The savages in the whateververse are being very mean to Aerie Jane and trying to slide in to her DM’s and more. Will she subject herself to the public anxiety of Ray and his world of weirdo fans in Atlantic City? Will Pat Dixon wax that white witch? Patrick has been urged to examine Access Consciousness …

NLO LIVE: Album Release, Court Report (June 9, 2023)

June 10, 2023

It’s FRIDAY and Patrick’s new album WE HAVE FUN is available! Help get it to number ne in the iTunes Charts by buying a copy today! Patrick has been to court, hence the unannounced absence yesterday. Patrick will be spilling the beans on exactly who his courtroom nemesis is and what went down during this insane exchange. Chad Zumock has seemingly allowed the alcohol in his brain to take the driver’s seat all the way to his hell gig in the middle of Georgia. Patrick gives his stale take on the Wednesday incident. You won’t want to miss this historical episode of the Nobody Likes Onions program. …

NLO LIVE: Chad Zumock is a Lying Creep! (June 7, 2023)

June 9, 2023

Happy hump day. friends! Chad Zumock is running like a bitch after rallying his fans to choose him or the haters on Monday. We are going to go over Chad’s insane lies and mumble-filled self-soothing and find out what’s really going on. Chad has new merch and wants to sell you a shirt! Chad blames Patrick for his studio not being complete as well as people fleeing his Patreon. As Patrick predicted, no one is coming to help Chad, and he knows it. Misery Loves Company has some superchatters that think they can control Kevin and send Patrick out to pasture as an MLC guest, and Patrick is here to tell you that nobody gives a fuck. …

NLO LIVE: Redbar Ain’t Comin’, Addicted to Pouting (June 6, 2023)

June 9, 2023

Patrick is fresh off another flawless performance over at Misery Loves Company with Kevin Brennan and Bob Levy. Patrick wins the battle of the superchats with his nemesis Addicted to Profits aka David Skarica. Steel Toe Morning Show’s Aaron Imholte is gleefully back in the piling on to Chad business. Chad Zumock disgusts some fans by trying to make Melton look beta, but what does that even mean? Plus – will daddy Redbar swoop in to save Chad? Not a fucking chance. Patrick tells you why on this episode. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (June 1, 2023)

June 1, 2023

It’s Thursday, and after a full day of not talking, Patrick has a lot to scream about and you people had better listen. Patrick bans James Banks for hitting the same note on the piano over and over for the entire first hour of the show. Beating jokes to death is Patrick’s job. Speaking of that, please pre-order Patrick’s special – link below. He doesn’t want to look like a loser. Ray is not a mean guy but Patrick doesn’t want anything to do with him. Ray can’t stop being anxious during a show. He is overprotective, ignores other people when they talk, and is notoriously opinionated about stuff he doesn’t full comprehend. And he doxxes his friends! Patrick goes through the PO box to find some cool fan creations as well as a lot of things to wipe with. Patrick issues an apology to a chatter who he may have seemed unfair with on Tuesday, and much more!
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MLC Aftershow – May 29, 2023

May 30, 2023

Patrick is scheduled to appear on MLC on Monday afternoon, so try to plan your hot dog grilling and lake activities around the depressing internet show schedule, alright? Will Patrick bomb? How jealous are all these other nerds about this hiring? Does Kevin reveal just how much he is paying Patrick for his humor services? Only time will tell. Let’s break down the show after the show! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 30, 2023)

May 30, 2023

Patrick returns to Misery Loves Company with Kevin Brennan and Bob Levy, and boy are his arms tired! Patrick performs to a chatroom of accolades and scorn, but takes it in stride. Patrick also gets a SUPERCHAT from KB after the show! Let’s sing ourselves a Steel Toe song and kick the day off right, and then who knows where this enchanted Tuesday could lead? …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 26, 2023)

May 27, 2023

It’s FRIDAY and Patrick has been barraged with questions and interest for the past 24 hours regarding the lawman that came to the door and brought some papers. Spoiler alert – there won’t be any big spoilers today, so you can skip watching and make your pedicure appointment instead. Patrick talks a little about what happened and what to expect going forward. Everything will come out soon enough, and you’ll all be laughing right along with Patrick about the insane nature of a man throwing elephant poo at the wall. Patrick talks a bit more about Chad and the recent MLC drama. Vince the Lawyer has filmed a fifteen minute something with KC Armstrong revisiting his gay tendencies and going over the Howard Stern show where they brought in KC’s trans lover. It’s something. It’s definitely something. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 25, 2023)

May 27, 2023

What a week! Patrick is going to attempt to describe what’s happened in the past 24 hours, and it’s a lot. Chad Zumock appears on Misery Loves Company with Kevin Brennan and Bob Levy, and they have a real reckoning. Before long, Chad falls right back in to his old habits once he finds his happy place. What does this mean for the future of the MLC podcast? Let’s talk about it. Patrick gets deep with the analysis of this appearance by the Z-Man, and at the end of the show there is a very special visitor to the podcastle – an officer of the law! Oh boy! …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 24, 2023)

May 24, 2023

Patrick is feeling fresh and pumped for a Wednesday show that is going to cover all the hottest topics he needs to dump from his prep sheet. Patrick doesn’t understand why Karl from Who Are These Podcasts can’t stop lying about him. We watch Aaron Imholte from Steel Toe Morning Show continue to gloat in the misfortune of others, possibly lie about his coffee grift, and reveal other cringe-worthy behavior. Josh Denny is up to his old tricks again by using a veiled N-word joke on the Anthony Cumia Compound Media show. Patrick gives his latest thoughts on Chad Zumock, Kevin Brennan and the drama surrounding Producer Joe from the Shuli network. Patrick gets frustrated at the chat, as usual, and so much more. The chat becomes generous in the final minutes and milks more time out of the show, and Patrick watches Perry Carravello get trolled hard by the Cart Narcs. …

MELTON in the MORNING! (May 19, 2023)

May 19, 2023

It’s Friday and Patrick cannot wait to just take himself to the lake. It’s the birthday of one of our most lusted-after members. Join NLO in wishing Dirty Dalish a happy birthday with a birthday card design contest. We get a very weird and exclusive tour of Compound Media behind the scenes. MLC is getting weird and Kevin Brennan is no longer in the Bob Levy business. KC Armstrong delivers his most unreal performance ever as he gets played like a grade-school recorder live on his own show! No MEMBERS ONLY show tonight – join us tomorrow at 6pm ET/3pm PT for our very first Smoke Show. Grab your own pork shoulder and cook along with Patrick! …