social media Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

NLO 1452: Black Guilt

January 25, 2023

Kitty Pineapple can’t stop messaging Patrick and she really needs to decide if she’ sorry or tough. Casper and David “Holy Shhh” Hulett are struggling with their open mic, and instead of money you can now win noodles for the best set. Summer Sinclair thinks she can sing and needs to be dragged behind a car immediately. Comedians think goin viral is a credit but their social media accounts can never back it up. The Comedy Store experiences more drama as Patrick gets word of a physical fight between Sam Tripoli and girl band Machine Gun Kelly. Stupid people love to talk with their fists. The Golden Globes trot out their new host Jerrod Carmichael and it goes bad very fast. Watch a talented comic have a mental breakdown about race and being a victim. …

NLO 1411: Crossing David

March 17, 2022

Patrick is back after a week of lethargy and food-borne illness. Vomiting on your dog can be therapeutic, if anyone is asking. David Cross is mad at Patrick about a tweet, and it did not go well. Patrick tries to explain this giant misunderstanding, but who knew David was so sensitive? This Why is everyone so obsessed with lying to themselves? We talk about comedy specials and why yours probably isn’t great. Did Aakash Singh blow his comedy load too early? Thai Rivera is serving ice cream and performing in dark desert tents, and is trying to gaslight the world in to believing both of those thing equal success. If you’re hate watching, it’s fine, just know that Patrick will win you over. …

NLO 1380: Recalibrate Your Crazy

March 29, 2021

It’s another weekend in Las Vegas, and the streets are sizzling with sweet, sweet comedy drama. In this show, Patrick share some great news from his HOA. He grapples with the prospect of getting the vaccine soon and asks for listener feedback. The show might switch to YouTube for live shows soon, because Twitch is too woke. Patrick has taken to selling graphics cards on eBay during the shortage, and has some unkind words for Craigslist shoppers. Patrick recaps all the history with Butch Bradley, as it’s become a topic of discussion again recently. Two individuals on Facebook have caught Patrick’s eye for their short fuses and inability to self-soothe. Catherine Maloney is mad at men, herself and the world, and want’s everyone to know about it. …

NLO 1378: Ban Basil

March 17, 2021

Patrick begins the show with anger about a pizza he ordered that got delivered with a bushel of basil, and he’s not really a basil man. But seriously, take a bite out of this hot gardening talk. There’s drama brewing in the comedy community, and while Patrick is refusing to say much, he also says quite a bit. He just wishes people would understand he’s a fair man. Josh Denny is doing the podcast rounds recently, and speaking of round, check out those cheeks! Josh says he is going back on tour, but we didn’t knew he was ever on tour. Also, this new tour seems to consist of one show in rural Pennsylvania bar. Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, is dead now, but the dream of owning his home could live on, if you like dumps in the middle of nowhere. …

NLO 1377: Build a Bubble

March 4, 2021

Patrick starts the show out with a mini rant about Twitch and their weird mechanisms for creators. A string of rapid subscription triggers something called a hypetrain, and that seems inappropriate. There seems to be some memory of Golden Corral that has triggered a very emotional rant from Patrick about chocolate fondue. The show had the best of intentions, but an off-handed line intended to support an argument triggers a tangent of conversation, aggravation and consternation that eventually leads to a fan getting upset at a chat bot, spinning out, and quitting the show. …

AS 1319: Jozalyn Sharp

November 27, 2019

Jozalyn sticks around to try to teach Patrick how TikTok works. To be honest, things don’t go great. But it’s still pretty entertaining, and we manage to discuss some other things while trying to get… …

NLO 1309: Boom Roasted

January 7, 2019

Patrick is in the studio with a plethora of Texas comedians performing haphazard interventions. Comedians Alex “Kool Aid” Ansel, Adam Dominguez, and George White put on a clinic for how to jump around from topic …

NLO Shows