stms Archives • NOBODY LIKES ONIONS

November 6, 2023 – OPEN WIDE! Stand Up, Sit Down, Wiggle In Your Seat! Sniping and Wiping!

November 6, 2023

Patrick has a headache this morning, but that’s not going to stop him from firing up the chat box and screaming at his Internet children! Let’s explore some of the best stand up comedians taking to the stage today. Alex Stein is getting TOO outrageous for his own good. Steel Toe has some more advice for all the shows chasing his coattails. We’ve got a new lady to watch and this one could be the easiest yet – because she’s so big you can see her from space…because she is very, very fat. Get it? We learn way more about the fat way of life than most are comfortable with. Maybe finish your meal before you get to the second half of this show, or we can’t promise you’ll be able to “wipe” your memory clean, even if you can reach. …

October 30, 2023 – Florida’s LEAST Wanted! Joey C Snaps, Mersh FISH LUNCH Art Contest

October 30, 2023

Good Mooby Monday, friends! Let’s check in with Minnesota’s favorite married misery couple, Aaron and April Imholte of the Steel Toe Morning Show! What is the cognitive dissonance that looms over Minnesota that allows these two to live in complete denial? Plus, we have an exclusive Joey C meltdown from Florida, where there’s a matter of a theft that needs sorting out. Watch Joey scream in a parking lot and almost get sent to the hospital for hyperventilating. Plus, more hilarious Mersh moments, and your art contest entries deferred from Friday. Don’t miss Monday with your pals at the Nobody Likes Onions program! …

October 27, 2023 – Kevin Brennan “WINS” Ray From Shuli! What Say You?

October 27, 2023

Happy Friday, fellow Earth-dwellers! So much has happened over the last couple of days, we’ve got to throw out the bath water and change the gender of this whole baby! Kevin Brennan has unleashed relentless amounts of bullying on soft-brain Ray Devito this week, putting pressure on the young upstart comedian to choose between his fatter paycheck at MLC or his weekly slog slot at The Shuli Network, where his show is increasingly becoming an outlier amongst the other John-centric programming. Will Replayables be left as the only non-John show on the Shuli schedule? And if so, what does this mean for the future of the network? Plus, more great Mersh moments and your art contest submissions for our latest contest. …

October 26, 2023 – It’s THARRRRSDAY! Steel Toe Cope! EVERYONE Is Using Ray!

October 26, 2023

Happy Thursday, you little speckles of fun! Patrick has to do a shorter show today because of a very serious appointment he has this morning. That means he’s probably going to be grumpy and you shouldn’t start anything with him. Steel Toe is undergoing some sort of weird metamorphosis and we have to get to the bottom of it. Spider Alomar is the most pointless and profound dummy in the Joey C sphere of top tards. Shuli and Kevin are now using Ray as a pawn in their battle to injure each other, and it’s tearing him apart. Chad is more dumb than ever, and needs daddy Brennan to save him from having to do his own show and be his own man. Strap in, nerds! …

October 12, 2023 – R-TARDS UNITE! KC Armstrong is WORSE Than We Thought, Joey C Is An Italian Clown

October 12, 2023

Patrick is trying to recover from a week of neglecting his show duties and entertaining Moody. Sure, it may not be Moody’s fault that the shows are late on the podcast feed, or the thumbnails and descriptions are have been off or lower quality than usual. That’s life, baby! Patrick has a new iPhone, though. So let’s focus on the important things in life! KC Armstrong is unaware of everything going on around him. He has a studio with fancy mics and headphones, buttons and sliders and more, but he’s too dumb to know how any of it works. Patrick drives the chat nuts with a parody song loop. Joey C has a new plan to get Melton and it’s the most laughable plot he has attempted yet. Come laugh at this untalented felon with us! …

October 11, 2023 – Moody Goes Bye Bye! Steel Toe’s Aaron Imholte Is a Blind Meanie!

October 11, 2023

This is not a show. Come say goodbye to Moody before he heads off to LA to go to Disneyland, and then heads back to Kiwi Country! What has Moody learned? Does he know what a diner is? What about his excuse for not using the word ketchup? Or not being able to explain what tomato relish is? We will find out. Patrick is getting a new iPhone. Steel Toe Morning Show’s Aaron Imholte can’t stop being wrong and making his wife feel like complete garbage about it. Why can’t Mooby ever see what’s right in front of his eyes? Probably the same reason Patrick can’t stop being such an autistic sperg. Enjoy this one, fools! …

September 25, 2023 – OLD MAN Brennan Needs Clues! Congrats Geno & Kiki! Chad Zumock Is a ZILCH!

September 25, 2023

What a weekend, and what a life! Congratulations to Geno and his lady for getting engaged, although this means Geno is no longer single, and therefore not available for Aaron and April to have a threesome with. Patrick has been beaming all weekend after Butch Bradley’s embarrassing Friday performance on Kevin Brennan’s podcast. Will Misery Loves Company be the final podcast where Butch talks about this, or will he run his mouth again. Does Patrick have a prayer at a defamation case, or is Kevin Brennan right when he says “you can’t just sue people.” We shall find out. Steel Toe has some new cringe to examine. Chad Zumock cannot stop lying, unless he’s reading. When he’s reading he stops his breathing. Let’s have ourselves a merry little Monday, shall we? …

September 22, 2023 – The FUTURE Is BLEAK! Chad Zumock, Donkeylips & Steel Toe Are SUNSETTING!

September 22, 2023

Happy Friday, mortals! Come with us this blessed day and rejoice in the fact that your life is not hurling down a hallway of despair with limited options on the horizon. Chad Zumock can’t see the end of his career coming, but if he would just clean those fogged up Walmart specs he might have hope! Michael Ray Bower aka Donkeylips has an answer for Patrick regarding his proposition, and it’s the kind of self-sabotage that’s sure to seal his fate. All this plus your Chad Zumock podcast studio renderings in our latest fan art assignment! Strap in, ya saps! …

September 18, 2023 – Steel Toe Blames EVERYONE ELSE! Ray’s Regressions, PO Box & More!

September 18, 2023

It’s been awhile since we checked in on everyone’s favorite Minnesota morning morons, Aaron Imholte and his slave wife April. With declining numbers, and the goal getting further and further out of reach every day, Let’s catch up on some of Mooby’s latest lies and find some career options for that dolt of a wife of his before it’s too late! Patrick opens the PO box packages that were meant to be opened on Friday. There may need to be a hazmat team on hand for this unboxing. We discuss Ray’s trip to Detroit and break down the disastrous MLC that unfolded on Saturday night with Pat Dixon. Plus plenty of yelling about other things, probably! Come join the fun! …

August 31, 2023 – Are WOMEN Ruining EVERYTHING? Taking It TOO FAR!

August 31, 2023

People seem to be disturbed by some of Patrick’s choices lately, and Patrick is beginning to question his own sanity. There’s a growing trend of women in the so-called Dabbleverse, and it’s not going well. Patrick has noticed some disturbing women around the podcast world this week, and we should discuss them in detail. From Tracey Jane to the new Patty featuring on MLC, it’s all going sour! Patrick receives a warning that has him chilled to his bones. Will it be enough to make him cool the situation off? We check in on one of our old favorites from outside this sphere of nuts, Heather Gillespie. She’s spiraling in an all new way. …

August 29, 2023 – Steel Toe LIES Continue, Goals Suck, The Imholte Divorce Clock & More!

August 29, 2023

We’ve been busy collecting lots of dirt on our friends up in Minnesota, and you won’t believe what we’ve heard! Aaron and his little scrimp are planning a covert trip to Las Vegas THIS WEEKEND and don’t want you, and more importantly Patrick, to know about it! Is this the behavior of a man who wants to box? We watch Aaron miss another goal and end the show on a bummer note for the second morning this week. But Patrick knows the importance of ending the show on a high note, so you won’t believe what he drops at the end today! Let’s have a nice, fun Tuesday! …

August 28, 2023 – Deceased & Da Cyst, Numbers BREAK People, Troll Tolls, Bower’s Back & More!

August 28, 2023

Steel Toe is a dying channel, a dysfunctional show, and a living exhibition of a relationship decaying before our very eyes. The lies coming out of this show are reaching new bold levels. Patrick has become keenly aware of how number chasing breaks people, and the obsession seems to be ramping up. Patrick receives a very concerning legal document from two of the internet’s dumbest people. We read it and enjoy the stupidity. The piñata has burst, and people are scrambling for scrap. It’s time to stay in your own yard and prepare for a storm. Michael Ray Bower has a killer new video to help combat your depression. Patrick gets a taste of the trolling around his own subscriber threshold. …

August 25, 2023 – Steel Toe Pump & Dump. Ray vs Gay, P.O. Box Friday & More!

August 25, 2023

Happy Friday! It’s a new day and we’ve got a lot of new crap to talk about! We kickoff the show with an update on how the NLO race to 10K subscribers played out Thursday, and how it’s still ongoing. MLC is getting weirder and weirder. Chad is on his bestest boy behavior. Ray does another show with Aerie Jane and it’s a doozie. Patrick has some new treats in the P.O. Box. Will we finish flipping over the squares today? Only time will tell! Let’s finish off this Wawa Summer strong! …

August 24, 2023 – Steel Toe’s Race to 10K, Summer Scrimpfest, New Podcast Alliances

August 24, 2023

Happy Thursday! Whatever that is running down your leg can wait, you frosty animal! Join Patrick in celebrating everything that’s happened in the podcast world over the past week. Where does Nobody Likes Onions fall in all this controversy? Steel Toe has been having a field day while being left alone during the recent squabbling. Podcasts are clamoring to have Patrick on as a guest, but is this a good time to engage with low-level impersonators? Joey C couldn’t hold it together for two weeks. Has Chad had his nuts clipped? Patrick is back for Atlantic City and has so many thoughts. You care, right? …

NLO LIVE: Steel Toe’s CRINGE Show, Angie Krum is DREAMING Again! (August 14, 2023)

August 14, 2023

It’s Monday! Patrick hears some info about the Steel Toe Morning Show and their ninth anniversery party. Let’s see how Aaron tells the story in comparison to the reports Patrick received about the event. Las Vegas comedians are running amuck since Patrick has been distracted by comedians in other parts of the country. Today we refocus on a couple of these nuts to try to bring some balance to our lives! Clench your bubble guts and join the fun! …

NLO LIVE: Reel Ray In, Keep Kevin Calm, Learn to Cook (July 13, 2023)

July 16, 2023

The same issues seem to keep presenting themselves in this world, and no one seems to listen. Everyone claims to have lines drawn and allegiances, but they get more and more blurry everyday. Kevin Brennan doesn’t even know who he’s mad at anymore. Ray can’t seem to grasp that he’s retarded. Patrick received his Rustic Cuts and has some thoughts. Michael Ray Bower helps us gain a more sophisticated palette. The hit single That EEEEE Sound kicks off the last day to send in entries for a song contest that may or may not happen. …

Melton in the Morning – April 13, 2023

April 16, 2023

Patrick has upgraded the entire sound chain in the studio, and gotten rid of the line noise and hiss that has slowly developed and mired the show in an unpleasant audio cacophony. But crisp audio and fun time are on the way. Patrick gets schooled on how to improve the show by David Attenborough. Corey Adam cannot stop showing his ass and we are here for it – you won’t believe how odd his new “show” is. Some ex-comic in Tampa named Mersh or Merch (no one can confirm) seems to be harboring a decade-long resentment of Patrick because of an interaction years ago. Patrick rejected Mersh’s insane offering of post-midnight steaks and skanks, and that has scarred his brain forever. …

Melton in the Morning – April 10, 2023

April 16, 2023

Good Mooby Monday! Come have some fun with Patrick and a train of thought that is sure to exclusively lead you on an adventure through your own brain! On today’s show we forget to even turn on Mooby and his little friend, and when we finally do, he’s seven minutes in to yelling about Patrick watching even though he wasn’t. We watch for half an hour today and bail as soon as Mooby moves on to making fun of black people with songs and voices. Patrick showcases some of the wretched Las Vegas comedy community, including Lex Las Vegas who recently did a comedy sketch parody about Mr. Onion, whatever that means. We call a strange man who challenged us to do so, and Patrick gets conned out of a $100 payday. …