the mike calta show

Come on, people, now. Smile on your brother. Everybody get together. Try to love one another, right now. …

Were you forced to spend Friday night and all day Saturday with you friends and family, rather than hanging in a chat of debaucherous nerds talking about everything from Push Pops to Pinwheels! Come on down and have fun with Patrick and the gang! Pull up a thong and light up a SONG! Okay? …

Patrick bet everything he had on the big fight an it’s weighing on his conscience. Can we talk about something funny for once? Will you please stop bringing everyone down about it? This is the worst. …

Patrick pretends to be drunk for almost two hours to show how desperate the people who hate Nick are to believe their own narratives. Please don’t comment about how bad this is. Everyone knows. It’s on purpose. …

It’s the day after ween, and all through them street, you can gather up candy, and gobble them sweets. Join Patrick and his maritime friends for a romp in the seas and a a helluva good time! I gotta have AI start writing these things! …